News Roundup 12/15/10 - The Slippery Pitch Edition

The first result on a Google Image search for "slippery pitch" is the Emirates... Pic via Flickr.

• So, the answer to the "What will Arsene Wenger blame the loss on that isn't the players?" game we played outside of the bar after Monday's match is "the pitch," which we did notice was fairly poor. I had thought United were wearing special boots specifically to handle the grease they added to the pitch before the match. But also, seriously, that doesn't explain why they didn't know what to do with the ball in the final third. [BBC, Guardian, Daily Telegraph]
• A snood-wearing Frenchman thinks Arsenal plays too flashy sometimes. [Sky Sports, Daily Telegraph]
• That same snood-wearer was named France's Player of the Year. Bear in mind that everyone that was with that team in South Africa was probably disqualified. [Sky Sports]
• Wojciech Szczesny is determined to make the fact that I learned how to spell his name months ago worthwhile by staying in the side. Yes, I tripled checked that sentence to avoid ironic typos. [Guardian]
• Speaking of goalkeepers, Arsenal and Manchester City are apparently keen on Blackpool keeper Matthew Gilks, who wants out of the seaside. Doesn't City have like eight goalkeepers? [Daily Mail]
• Surprise! Arsenal might be interested in a French center back! I am flabbergasted at that news. The man in question is Mamadou Sakho, who plays for PSG. But, apparently Barcelona are interested too. Shouldn't they, you know, finally pay us for Henry first?[Daily Mail]
• Stoke City fancies their chances at picking up a win at the Emirates on Saturday, since Newcastle and West Brom have done it this year. Well, obviously they would say that. The headline should read "Stoke Thinks They Can Win, Says Stoke Player." [The Sun]
• FA Youth Cup: Arsenal thrashed Darlington 6-1 yesterday, setting up a next round match with either Sunderland or Chelsea. Chuks Aneke had a hat trick. Benik Afobe had a brace. Defender Daniel Boateng scored a rare goal for Arsenal's sixth. [Arsenal.com]

Manchester United 1 - 0 Arsenal: Uncreative Title to Match Uncreative Midfield

Wayne Rooney's miss was by far Arsenal's only highlight. Pic via Guardian.

Manchester United 1: Park 41

Arsenal 0

For all of the complaining about Howard Webb that we may do, especially in the heat of the match when I'm a good three pints in, the fact of the matter is, even if there were a number of dubious decisions at Old Trafford yesterday, Arsenal certainly deserved their zero points. I'm going to do my best not to go into the officiating decisions, but how United were not booked once in this match is a crime. I'm always much the optimistic one, but still, there's been a lot to be concerned about in Arsenal's play this season, so let's dive right into this.

Arsenal made only one change to the side that beat Fulham in the league last weekend, necessitated by an injury picked up by Lukasz Fabianski. This meant Wojciech Szczesny would make his first start in the Premier League. Despite declaring himself fit again, Manuel Almunia was nowhere to be found, further indicating that he has likely played his final match in an Arsenal shirt. The outfield players were as they were in the last league match, including Tomas Rosicky in the middle of midfield, with Andrei Arshavin to the left and Samir Nasri to the right. Cesc Fabregas, still nursing his hamstring, started on the bench.

Arsenal put themselves behind the eight ball a bit at the start; it seemed like the back four wanted to pass back to Szczesny to get him an early touch on the ball, but with United's pressuring, the home side had a few solid opportunities created by Arsenal's own backward motion, but nothing exceedingly dangerous. The Gunners settled in after about ten minutes.

But, when I say settled in, I mean they worked themselves into a groove through which they were never going to score for one simple reason: there was no creative spark. Again. Without a fit Cesc Fabregas, the central role has fallen to Tomas Rosicky, who has had a few strong performances in the past and a few clunkers, and yesterday was the latter. Without Fabregas, the formation seems to, at times, be all over the place and when coupled with Arsene Wenger's high risk-high reward scheme of having Alex Song push forward, it creates a dangerous situation of counterattack vulnerability when ultimately, there's no one in an Arsenal shirt on the other end of a poorly placed cross.

United scored the match's only goal shortly before halftime. Nani sent a deflected ball into the box (the deflection courtesy Gael Clichy) that found the head of Ji-Sung Park, who twisted an unstoppable header into the corner of the net. Szczesny had no chance. Sebastian Squillaci tried to close down on Park, but he was too late in getting this. This was because Park was not Squillaci's man to cover in the first place; Alex Song is the one that should have been on the Korean.

Arsenal had all of one solid chance to score a goal in the second half (and, all game, really.) Samir Nasri took a left footed shot that Edwin van der Sar could only parry to his left, into the path of Marouane Chamakh. But, the Moroccan found himself wrong footed and caught off guard, and by the time Chamakh got a foot on the ball to take a shot, central defender Nemanja Vidic had already closed him down to block it.

United could have taken a 2-0 lead when they were given a preposterously dubious penalty as Clichy was whistled for handball in the area. To make this call, it has to be an intentional handball (Webb waived off a more legitimate shout for a penalty when Chamakh accidentally handled in the first half.) Nani kicked the ball at Clichy's arm, which was at his side and on the ground supporting his body. How that could be viewed as intentional is beyond me. It was the linesman who waved for the call, but it's still up to Webb to whistle for it. What followed was Wayne Rooney missing the net ridiculously, in what was probably the best moment of the match for an Arsenal supporter.

Arsenal brought in some heavy artillery off the bench, in the form of Cesc Fabregas, Robin van Persie, and Theo Walcott, but the three of them did nothing to change the flow of the match. The creativity and spark still wasn't there. In the end, it's another negative result in Manchester. A bit of a coincidental statistic to pass along, that I don't really think means that much in the grand scheme of things, is that Arsenal have never won the Premier League in a season where they have lost at Old Trafford. Again, small sample size (the Premier League only dates back to 1992) and bit coincidental, as Arsenal have won there and then not won the league as well (in 2006/07.)

Hipster Gooner Man of the Match: Nemanja Vidic

Preview: Manchester United v. Arsenal

There's only one Arsene Wenger. Pic via Daily Mail.

Old Trafford, Manchester

Monday, December 13

8:00 p.m. GMT, 3:00 p.m. EST

• Referee: Howard Webb
• This Match, Last Year: Manchester United 2 - 1 Arsenal
• All-Time in All Competitions: 78 Arsenal wins, 86 United wins, 46 draws
• Arsenal's Recent Form: L-W-W-L-W-W
• United's Recent Form: W-W-D-D-W-W 

Predicted Line-Up

guesses in red

Fabianski

Sagna - Koscielny - Squillaci - Clichy

Song - Wilshere

Nasri - Rosicky - van Persie

Chamakh

Subs from: Szczesny, Djourou, Eboue, Denilson, Walcott, Arshavin, Bendtner

Out: Gibbs (ankle), Fabregas (hamstring), Diaby (ankle), Vermaelen (Achilles), Almunia (elbow)

Match Thoughts

Theo Walcott would like to be
starting again.

Here it is, everyone, the biggest match of the season so far. United away and a real top of the table clash. No doubt about it, the winner of this match will be top of the table for another week. And, if that winner should be Arsenal, they'll be four points clear of United who will still have that game in hand. Yes, Arsenal may be top now, but with United getting frozen out at Blackpool (who occasionally seem to forget they're in the Premier League now) last week, being one point clear really doesn't mean anything unless the Gunners take care of business on Monday.

Can I also say that I really don't like having to wait until Monday for such a pivotal, enthralling, and usually gut-wrenching fixture? Sure, it'll help my sleep-and-drinking schedule this weekend (with all of those early starts, I haven't gotten sleep on a Friday since November 12 - that was really my fault last week plus my birthday has been in there), but it's agonizing all the same. Plus, should Chelsea win at Shite Hart Lane, then this match is going to be a battle for top spot, even though neither side will truly be top coming in.

We should probably know by the end of the day Sunday whether Cesc Fabregas will play, still hampered by his recurring hamstring injury, which he first picked up almost a year ago at Burnley. If you recall, Arsenal was without Fabregas at Old Trafford last year with a completely different injury and controlled the level of play anyway. As I say below in the team news, if Fabregas is not 100% fit, then I don't want him playing. The dip in his quality as a playmaker between when he is 100% and when he is about 80% has been extremely noticeable, plus you risk losing him again to the same injury. We want you back, Cesc, but only at your very best and nothing less.

After that, there are questions about who starts up front, for largely very good reasons. It's always better to have difficult choices to make in your squad because too many players are fit. We'll see if Andrei Arshavin drops to the bench after a poor outing on Wednesday. My predicted line-up takes that into account, but I do largely doubt that may happen (that predicted line-up is very often wishful thinking.) The thing about Arshavin, and we all know it, is that he can be utter crap for 98% of the match, but still pull a brilliant maneuver out of nowhere to set up a gorgeous goal. He leads this team in assists and is fourth on the team in scoring, despite all of the flack he's taken this season.

Theo Walcott is getting frustrated as a super-sub, but considering in-the-form-of-his-life Samir Nasri has been playing right wing, it's hard to fit Walcott in the starting XI right now. Though, theoretically, you can move Nasri to the central role and then start Walcott on the right and drop Tomas Rosicky to the bench. Robin van Persie and Marouane Chamakh did not look comfortable playing together on Wednesday, so the question is: do you keep experimenting with it right now or is this too important a match to start taking gambles on your formation? I expect Wenger to continue with the experiment.

Alex Song proved how useful he can be driving forward as what we started calling last week a "rogue striker." He set up the situation that led to van Persie's penalty goal and had the one-two with Bendtner that set up Nasri's goal on Wednesday. I am all for Alex Song pushing forward, but, only when you have faith in your back four, which I don't. Maybe with a healthy Thomas Vermaelen it'll be easier for Song to push up, but right now, you are seeing far too many instances where the back four is exposed and out of position because Song isn't there to cover.

All in all, a huge three points up for grabs on Monday, though, I hesitate to think it will truly define Arsenal's season one way or the other. It's only December.

Cesc Fabregas: Questionable.

Arsenal Team News

• Returning to the side from Wednesday will be Gael Clichy (illness) and Johan Djourou (thigh.)
• Cesc Fabregas is a big concern to play given his hamstring injury. Looks like he'll be a match time decision. I'd rather him play only if he's 100% (I find his presence detrimental when he's a bit off.) If he's not fully fit, I'd much rather have Nasri or Rosicky play in the middle.
• Ridiculously unlucky Kieran Gibbs is out three weeks after rolling over his ankle on Wednesday.
• Dear Thomas Vermaelen, See you in 2011. Love, All Gooners.
• Dear Abou Diaby, Seriously, I haven't heard anything about the confusion that is your ankle injury. Love, John (and presumably All Gooners.)
• Yeah, I'm going to stop that now...
• According to John Cross of The Daily Mirror, Manuel Almunia has been allowed to go back to Spain for rest and treatment on his injured elbow. It is becoming more and more likely he'll be sold in the January transfer window. And we here at Hipster Gooner will have a photo slideshow/montage ready when that happens.
• Arsenal have won four straight fixtures in all competitions, but an argument over which win was the most comfortable would likely make your brain explode. Arsenal held off Villa's comeback twice and won 4-2, then knocked Wigan out of the Carling Cup before waiting about 75 minutes to beat both Fulham and Partizan Belgrade at home.
• The last time Arsenal won three straight in the league was October 16 to 30, with wins over Birmingham City, Manchester City, and West Ham United.

Manchester United Team News

• Reports today indicate that Paul Scholes (groin) and Rio Ferdinand (hamstring) have passed fit.
• Wes Brown and Jonny Evans have been battling illness but are in contention.
• Michael Owen (hamstring) is back in training, but will not be in the squad on Monday.
• Owen Hargreaves (hamstring) is out until Boxing Day; Antonio Valencia (broken ankle) is out long term.
• United have not lost in the league this season, which is about 40% over. They have, however, drawn almost half the time (7 out of 15) and have only won once away from home, at Stoke.
• Since this match is at Old Trafford, though, that doesn't matter. At home, United have only dropped points once in the league: a 2-2 draw with West Bromwich Albion.
• Last year, United lost at home only twice: to Chelsea and to Aston Villa. That loss to Villa was during this very weekend of fixtures a year ago (December 12.)
• United's only competitive loss this season was their 4-0 thrashing at the hands of West Ham in the Carling Cup two weeks ago.
• They won four of their Champions League group fixtures, but drew two, and both of those were at home, including their match with Valencia on Tuesday.

Match Facts

• United took all six points from Arsenal last year. At Old Trafford in August, Arsenal controlled much of the play and led 1-0 at the half thanks to a brilliant Andrei Arshavin strike. Wayne Rooney equalized from the spot on a penalty conceded by Manuel Almunia, then Abou Diaby headed in the winner for United. Yeah, that happened.
• Arsenal then lost 3-1 to United at the Emirates, a match in which the Gunners seriously competed from about the 80th minute to the 85th.
• Arsenal have not won at Old Trafford in five tries in all competitions. Their last win there came on September 17, 2006, 1-0. Emmanuel Adebayor had the 86th minute winner.
• The Gunners have beaten Manchester United just once over nine encounters over the last three seasons. Samir Nasri had a brace that day, which he seems more than capable of doing again on Monday.
• I'm going to stop typing these, it's making me sad. Then again, you could also assume I'm just jinxing them. Though, I don't think you can jinx something you don't want to happen, right?

The Referee

• The referee is Evil Patrick Stewart Howard Webb.
• Webb has taken charge of only one Arsenal match this season: the 2-1 win over Everton in November.
• For United, Webb has also only taken charge of one match this season: their 3-2 win over Liverpool.
• Funny that, in both of those instances, Webb officiated a win by one of the teams involved in this match against a side from Liverpool.
• In this fixture last year, Mike Dean handed out 9 yellow cards (6 to Arsenal) and awarded Wayne Rooney a penalty. And, then he punched Arsene Wenger in the face. Fine, that didn't happen. But he sent Wenger off for kicking a water bottle after Arsenal's injury time equalizer was nullified for offside. And we all remember Wenger's defiant "I have nowhere to sit" gesture that followed. And if you forgot, it's at the top of this post, so scroll up again.

Around the League

• Saturday: Aston Villa v. West Bromwich Albion; Villa Park, Birmingham
• Saturday: Everton v. Wigan Athletic; Goodison Park, Liverpool
• Saturday: Fulham v. Sunderland; Craven Cottage, London
• Saturday: Stoke City v. Blackpool; Britannia Stadium, Stoke-on-Trent
• Saturday: West Ham United v. Manchester City; Boleyn Ground, London
• Saturday: Newcastle United v. Liverpool; St. James' Park, Newcastle upon Tyne
• Sunday: Bolton Wanderers v. Blackburn Rovers; Reebok Stadium, Bolton
• Sunday: Wolverhampton Wanderers v. Birmingham City; Molineux, Wolverhampton
• Sunday: Tottenham Hotspur v. Chelsea; White Hart Lane, London

Hipster Gooner Playlist: Los Campesinos

They've really got to change their colors if they want to join the Hipster Neon Five-a-Side League. Pic via loscampesinos.com.

If there's one thing the world of the Hipster Gooner is missing, it is quality football-themed indie songs. Sure, you can make like Max and pretend that Vampire Weekend's Walcott is about everyone's fave Englishman, but songs that truly combine the skinny jeans lifestyle with the love for the beautiful game are few and far between.

Enter Los Campesinos!, one of our* favorite bands who also happen to be led by a rabid football fan. Gareth Campesinos! has described their most recent album as being about death, sex, and football. Tragically he, along with the rest of the lads, mainly supports Manchester United (though he does also support his local team, Welton Rovers FC) -- would it be too much to dream that we aren't the only Hipster Gooners out there? -- but his lyrics are vague enough to apply to any football fan who wishes Pitchfork ratings took into consideration the number of references to crossbars and pitches.

So without any further ado, these are the lyrics we'd be posting on our personal blogs or featuring on "First Match of the Season 2010" mixtapes.

FROM WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, WE ARE DOOMED (2008):
Miserabilia
I've cried on ashen floors of working men's clubs -- 96, 98, 2000, 2002, 2004 -- Oh my God, will it end?

We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed
Charlotte says, "It's more constructive than the one in Canada,
When you got drunk, ate loads of crisps and threw up by a football pitch"
I know it is, and really that's what worries me, I feel like I should hurt.

All Your Keyfabe Friends
You asked if I'd be anyone from history, fact or fiction, dead or alive:
I said "I'd be Tony Cascarino, circa 1995".

FROM ROMANCE IS BORING (2010):
We've Got Your Back (Documented Minor Emotional Breakdown #2)
Every girl I ever kissed I was thinking of a pro-footballer
(THOUGHT. YOU. SHOULD. KNOW)

Plan A
I'm called up to the Maltese national team,
My vision is impeccable, my first touch is obscene.
A World Cup qualifier finds me fifty, forty, thirty yards
From goal, a late sub on in an off the striker role

Was it wind? Did it take a bad deflection?
A decade spent nursing a fear that you might never make it?
The crowd draws breath at once it swerves to the top corner
The Sunday tabloid press declares me the new king of Malta.

With my name on shirts, your face on the cash
That every week just piles inside our bank account,
We'd rule the roost and we could start a family
I think we'd make about a hundred million bucks.

Straight In at 101
Some people give themselves to religion
Some people give themselves to a cause
Some people give themselves to a lover
I have to give myself to goals!

This Is a Flag. There Is No Wind.
In an analogy that makes sense to most, this opportunity it found me unmarked at the far post, but I blazed it right against the crossbar of the pub that you had worked in since you moved here from Bath Spa. We agreed we couldn't trust the guy that didn't like a single sport.

*Disclaimer: "our" may just mean "my."

News Roundup 3/24/10 - The Doubt Edition

Arsenal needs more clockwork bunnies, says Arshavin. Pic via Guardian.

• Andrei Arshavin is pretty sure Arsenal doesn't have enough players and depth to win the league. His web site, however, quotes him as saying "we should win all remaining games." Make up your mind, Andrei. He then finally offered an exhaustive explanation of ideological anarchism. [Guardian]
• Denilson, however, believes that the team's past experiences have left them in a stronger position than ever before. Yes, this is the kind of thing you expect to hear from your players. None of that Arshavin doubt crap. [Sky Sports]
• The Telegraph has an article about Wenger's selection problem at center back for this Saturday's match at Birmingham, which I talked about a bit yesterday. Somehow, they arrive at the conclusion that it would be Campbell Saturday, then likely Silvestre against Barcelona. No. That is not okay. No. No. No. [Telegraph]
• Manchester United's Paul Scholes keeps saying they're going to win the rest of their games too. Like this is the third time he's said that this month. You know, Paul, too much hubris can result in bad karma, like a loss at Bolton on Saturday, or something. [ESPN Soccernet]
• Stoke manager Tony Pulis said "moaners like Wenger just want to shoot us down." Hmmm, I wonder why a team like Arsenal would think Stoke City is a bunch of bullies... Pulis's comments came after yet another Stoke player was sent off at the weekend. [Daily Mirror]
• Arsenal have made some progress in contract talks with William Gallas. How about some progress on that calf injury, okay? [Daily Mirror]
• Nice striker (the team in France, though I'm sure he's a wonderful guy too) Loic Remy has revealed that he still wants to come to Arsenal, despite a January deal failing due to Nice's high asking price, which wasn't very nice of them. I'm sorry for that. [Daily Mail]
• Internazionale is preparing a £36m offer for Cesc Fabregas, offering U-21 star Mario Balotelli in the exchange. Sky Sport Italia has reported that Inter has even placed Fabregas under their insurance already, suggesting a deal is done. Cesc's representatives have stated that there is no contact with Inter, let alone a deal in place. [Daily Mail]

News Roundup 3/16/10 - The Dragon Cake Edition

Seriously? Pic via Daily Mail.

• Happy 21st birthday to Theo Walcott! Let's turn seriously tabloid here (with the help of the Mail, of course) and all comment on Arsenal's WAGs. And Theo's cake... [Daily Mail]
• To honor this occasion, there are seriously a ton of articles about Theo around now (okay, I think it's coincidence.) ESPN Soccernet has a "THOE WALCOTT FOCUS" (he must play for Aesenal), and Sky Sports has two articles, one on his past injury frustrations and another on his desire for Champions League revenge against Manchester United.
• Now on to Sol Campbell, who won his first court battle against Portsmouth yesterday [Times] but has promised not to pursue unpaid wages until after a new owner for Pompey is found. [Guardian]
• Samir Nasri is concerned about his spot on France's potential World Cup squad because he is being played out of position. [Sky Sports]
• Sir Alex Ferguson believes Arsenal poses a bigger threat to United's title run than Chelsea... [ESPN Soccernet]
• ...but that won't stop Paul Scholes from running his mouth. [Daily Mail]
• Nicklas Bendtner reflects on those two occasions where George Boateng should have been sent off with straight red cards on Saturday. [Guardian]
• Speaking of Hull City, I guess it's old news now, but Phil "Ooompa Loompa" Brown was "relieved of [his] managerial duties" after Hull's stoppage time loss. He's been placed on "gardening leave," which is a phrase that is so ridiculous to me, I don't even know where to begin. It has something to do with still being paid, or something... [Guardian]
• And, some transfer notes to close out on, as Arsenal has shown interest in Lazio goalkeeper Fernando Muslera [Sky Sports] and Juventus midfielder and contractual disaster Felipe Melo. [Daily Mail]

News Roundup 2/23/10 - The One Man Went to Bed with Ashley Edition

 

And his mobile phone... Pic via Daily Mirror.

• Though it is of course not technically Arsenal news, you know you secretly love hearing that Ashley Cole might leave Stamford Bridge because he's upset he's being called out for his... ahem... off-pitch bedroom training... [Guardian]
• Of course, the difference between this hilarious situation and the other John Terry hilarious situation is that Cole did this while on club duty.
• And in searching for a picture, I stumbled across this article from India, quoting Cole's mistress calling him "mundane" and "boring in bed." He's probably just used to being with ten men. [One India]
• Back to the Gunners, where Nicklas Bendtner's ego is totally ready to bring Arsenal some silverware. [Sky Sports, Daily Mirror]
• "Unlucky" Theo Walcott is feeling "as fit as ever," which means he'll get hurt in training tomorrow [Arsenal.com] because he has all of the weight of England on his shoulders to stay healthy, or something. [BBC]
• On the flight back from Portugal with the Arsenal traveling supporters, Cesc Fabregas used the plane's PA system to apologize for their performance. Fabianski would have done the same, but he fumbled the microphone backwards into the net. [Daily Telegraph]
• Wild transfer rumors and lies: It's now Manchester United leading the race for Raheem Sterling, the wunderkind from QPR [Daily Mirror]; Spanish right back Cesar Azpilicueta might sign with us, Man City, or Barca [Daily Mail]; and Andrei Arshavin is pushing for the signing of Russian goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev. [Daily Mail]
• Finally, let's all remember that we have to root for West Ham United tonight; they play Manchester United at Old Trafford at 8 pm local time, 3 pm Eastern.

Can You Name the Four Teams That Don't Like This Idea?

The Premier League is considering holding a four-team playoff for their final Champions League spot, contested by teams placed fourth through seventh, instead of awarding it to the team in fourth place. [Guardian]

Arsenal 1 - 3 Manchester United: Throttled

It was just that kind of day for Arshavin and the Gunners yesterday. Pic via Guardian.

Arsenal 1: Vermaelen 80
Manchester United 3: Almunia 33 (og), Rooney 37, Park 52

There's no other way to describe this one. For the second time against a top team at home this season, Arsenal was humiliated.

Seemed to me like nobody was on the same page for about 80 minutes. Maybe it has something to do with how many players are just returning to the line-up, whether it be from injuries or the Africa Cup. Maybe I shouldn't be making excuses for the players, because Arsene Wenger certainly is not.

For the second straight game, Gael Clichy was eaten alive by the opposition. On Wednesday, it was Ashley Young, but Aston Villa didn't have the finishers to capitalize. Yesterday, it was Nani. A few minutes after rolling around on the pitch like he'd been shot by a sniper (producing a yellow card to Alex Song), Nani ran around three Arsenal players with ease (I believe they were Clichy, Denilson, and Vermaelen) before chipping a pass across the goal line that was tipped into the net by Almunia before reaching Ji-Sung Park at the far post.

Hard to tell if it would have been a goal anyway had Almunia not scored the first goal in 3D sports television history into his own net. Park appeared to be wide open to tap it home had Almunia not gotten a hand on it, but Gallas was a step behind Park and perhaps could have closed the gap. It's kind of hard to outright blame any of the three United goals on Almunia, but you know I like to anyway. Nani's run and pass across the line were just a touch too brilliant for the Gunners to handle yesterday.

The other two United goals came on the counter-attack, something that is going to keep happening to Arsenal if they continue having to send Gallas and Vermaelen forward as their only tall players capable of winning the ball in the air on set pieces. Notice how that's a huge fucking hole in logic? If Arsenal can only score on corners if they send their central defenders all the way forward, they are going to get burned again and again and again on a quality side's counterattack. Rooney's goal came within a minute after an Arsenal corner. Park's second half goal came on a 4-on-1 break for United.

Arsenal played quality football for approximately five minutes yesterday. It came from about the 79 minute mark to the 84 minute mark, with the game already essentially out of reach. And, of course, going back to their lack of physical presence in the box, it was Vermaelen the goal scorer.

Now, we've got ourselves a must-win game at the Bridge on Sunday. Thankfully, we won there last year. Sadly, both goals in a 2-1 win were scored by Robin Van Persie.

Two more things I want to bring up that make me happy, after all of this negativity:

1. There was a great crowd at Nevada Smith's yesterday, and I have to give our fellow Gooners credit for outsinging the United fans the entire game. And then the United fans had the fucking nerve to chant "Can you hear the Arsenal sing?" despite being outclassed by superior chanters for the entire game. The "Hello! Hello! We are the Arsenal boys!" reply came almost instantly.
2. Amusing moment from the match commentary that we here at Hipster Gooner will be repeating quite a bit. The announcer was talking about Arsenal's style of passing, listing attributes of their strategy, before slipping seamlessly back into play-by-play. As such the list came across as: "precision, angles, Denilson."
   

Preview: Arsenal v. Manchester United

Samir Nasri scored twice in last season's league meeting between these two sides at the Emirates. Pic via Guardian.

Emirates Stadium, London
Sunday, January 31
1600 GMT, 11:00 am EST

• Referee: Chris Foy
  
• This Match, Last Year: Arsenal 2 - 1 Manchester United
  
• Arsenal's Recent Form: W-W-D-W-W-D
• Manchester United's Recent Form: L-W-W-D-W-W
• Sky Bet Odds: Arsenal 11-8, Man Utd 15-8, Draw 12-5
• SportingBet Odds: Arsenal 7-5, Man Utd 17-10, Draw 11-5
  

Predicted Line-Up
guesses italicized

Almunia
Sagna - Gallas - Campbell - Clichy
Fabregas - Denilson - Ramsey
Nasri - Bendtner - Arshavin

Subs from: Fabianski, Traore, Rosicky, Song, Eboue, Vela, Walcott
Out: Eduardo (hamstring), Vermaelen (leg/knee), Merida (ankle), Diaby (calf), Gibbs (foot), Van Persie (ankle), Djourou (knee)

• Alex Song and Emmanuel Eboue are both available, but "tired." My assumption is that they will feature off the bench. If any of them were to make the start, it'd be Song at defensive midfield, pulling Ramsey out of that XI above.
  
• Thomas Vermaelen might be a game-time decision with his leg injury sustained in the first half at Villa Park on Wednesday.
• Abou Diaby is still ruled out, which means he won't get to score for United again.
• Eduardo, Diaby, and Vermaelen should all be available for February 7 at the Bridge.
• In their August 29 loss at Old Trafford, Arsenal did not have Cesc Fabregas in the line-up. He was out with a hamstring injury.
  
• In the 41 meetings between Arsene Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson, Manchester United has won 16 times, Arsenal has won 14, and they've drawn 11. Two of those draws were cup ties that were decided on penalties (including Arsenal's 2005 FA Cup Final win.)
• Manchester United are unbeaten in their last four against the Gunners, winning three. They have not, however, won a Premier League game at the Emirates in three tries. A 3-1 Champions League win last May in North London did boot the Gunners from the competition.
• United's only Premier League win at Arsenal in their last nine trips to London was a 4-2 win at Highbury five years ago.
• Arsene Wenger is still one Premier League win away from 300 in his career.
• United have lost five and drawn one in their last six away matches against other Big Four sides.
• Wayne Rooney and Paul Scholes are both sitting on 99 career Premier League goals. Only 17 players have scored 100. Then again, that's another stat that only dates back to the '90s.
  

News Roundup 1/29/10 - The Is It Sunday Yet? Edition

Here's Jack Wilshere, running for his life from a bleached blond lunatic. Pic via Daily Mirror.

• Despite a last minute bid from Wigan, Jack Wilshere's transfer to Bolton Wanderers has been made official, as expected. [Daily Mirror]
• Start gearing up for Sunday's clash with Manchester United with this photo gallery of past matches from Guardian.
• March 13 match at Hull City has been tabbed for live television and has been moved up to 5:30 pm in England. Hull is quickly becoming Arsenal's ninth most heated rival! [Arsenal.com]
• Pressure is growing on Arsene Wenger to make a move in the final three days of the transfer window... [Daily Mirror]
• ...but he admits it's unlikely. [Daily Mirror, Arsenal.com]
  
• There's still a slim chance Tom Vermaelen will be fit for Sunday. That would be amazing. [Daily Mirror]
• But, if he's not, Arsene Wenger is confident in Sol Campbell's ability to contain Wayne Rooney. [Arsenal.com]
• Sir Alex Ferguson kindly asks his supporters not to call Arsene Wenger a pedophile. [Daily Telegraph]
• And, in one last bit of news I didn't want to hear, Bacary Sagna's agent has linked the blond dreadlocks to a possible summer transfer to Internazionale. [Sky Sports]
  

News Roundup 1/28/10 - The Three-Dimensional Edition

Wow, Wayne Rooney's dives are so much more life-like in 3D! Pic via Guardian.

• Sky has announced that Sunday's Arsenal-Manchester United clash at the Emirates will be their first experiment in publicly broadcasting live sports in 3D. I intend to be drunk enough to think the 2D screen at Nevada Smiths is in 3D. [Guardian]
• Tom Vermaelen did NOT break his fibula yesterday at Villa Park, but the extent of the injury is still not clear. He will still likely miss Sunday. [Arsenal.com]
• That would mean that the currently unstoppable Wayne Rooney would be marked by Sol Campbell. I'd like to just see Campbell flatten him. [ESPN Soccernet]
• Other injury notes: Arsenal will also likely be without Eduardo and Diaby on Sunday. Which means Diaby can't score for Manchester United this time around. [Arsenal.com]
• CORRECTION: Eboue and Song are both "available" for Sunday. [Guardian]
  
• Jack Wilshere is close to a move to Bolton Wanderers. I guess last week's little row with Owen Coyle and William Gallas's challenge didn't sour the deal. [Sky Sports]
• Manchester United's Rio Ferdinand's appeal of his three-match ban for violent conduct was deemed "frivolous" and is now a four-match ban. He will not play Sunday at the Emirates. [Guardian]
  

News Roundup 1/26/10 - The 10 Millionth Reason to Hate Man United Edition

Smalling is off to the North next year. Pic via Guardian.

• Manchester United won the transfer battle for Fulham defender Chris Smalling. Urge to destroy rising. [Guardian, Daily Mirror]
• Speaking of transfers, Jack Wilshere is likely on the move to another Premier League team (potentially Bolton, Burnley, or West Ham) within 24-48 hours. [Arsenal.com]
• Player news: Samir Nasri and Nicklas Bendtner have resumed full training! Diaby and Merida remain out, in terms of those not done for the year (van Persie, Djourou, and Gibbs). [Arsenal.com]
• Alex Song is back from the Africa Cup, but may not be fit for the clash with Manchester United on Sunday. Arsene Wenger mentioned that Song looked "tired" in yesterdays 3-1 aet loss to Egypt. [Arsenal.com]
  

Things I Hate

Thanks to six million goals by Wayne Rooney against Hull City, Arsenal now sits second in the table, two points back of United with a game in hand. Chelsea has two. Sigh.