Breaking: Arsene Wenger Charged By FA

Word is coming from the Football Association that Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will be charged by the FA with using insulting and/or abusive language and improper conduct following Saturday's 1-1 draw at Sunderland.

Wenger argued with Martin Atinkson, the fourth official, about the amount of added time that was allotted, as Sunderland scored their equalizing goal in the 95th minute, after only four minutes of added time was indicated (that four is, of course, a minimum.)

Wenger has until Thursday to respond to the charge. The result will be a fine of £8,000, plus a touchline ban of one match.

More information coming, as we learn it; plus, our preview of tomorrow's Carling Cup tie is coming later this afternoon.

Picture via Daily Mail.

News Roundup 8/30/10 - The Fracas Edition

Since there are very few official details about this incident, how about we just all jump to ridiculous conclusions? Pic via Guardian.

• Jack Wilshere was arrested in the early morning hours on Sunday for being involved in a "fracas" during which a woman suffered a broken and dislocated elbow. He was released on bail and is "unlikely to face charges." It appears he was attempting to be a peacemaker but remains an important witness. [Guardian, Daily Telegraph, Sky Sports]
• Arsene Wenger invoked the name Ryan Shawcross in a press conference on Thursday, not in reference to last year's Aaron Ramsey incident, but in reference to Stoke City's tactics of bumping the goalkeeper, saying it was turning the game into rugby... [Arsenal.com]
• ...and in a preposterous overreaction, Stoke manager Tony Pulis has decided to lodge a formal complaint to the FA, in a statement which for absolutely no reason contains references to World Wars I and II. [Sky Sports]
• Wait? Let me get this straight... Inter Milan submitted a transfer bid for Cesc Fabregas that was less than the first insulting bid Arsenal turned down from Barcelona? This story doesn't even make sense. Tabloid fodder? [Daily Mail, Daily Mirror]
• Armand Traore might be loaned to Birmingham or Juventus. [Sky Sports, Daily Mail]
• Arsenal has drawn Tottenham away in the third round of the Carling Cup, to be played the week of September 20. Arsenal will likely play reserves, as they do in this competition. I expect Tottenham to play their standard line-up. This means Tottenham will probably win, brag about it until the first league meeting in November, and release a special edition DVD of the match the following morning. Poor predictable Spurs. [Guardian]

There's only one Arsene Wenger...and we've still got him

Look who's smiling now! Pic via the Telegraph.
Some great news to wake up to this morning -- Arsene Wenger has signed a three-year contract extension and will remain at Arsenal until 2014. (You'll likely hear more on this later from the rest of the team.)

News Roundup 7/12/10 - The Day After Edition

Arsene Wenger is very disappointed in FC Barcelona. But, who isn't? Pic via Daily Mirror.

• Cesc Fabregas won the World Cup. Robin van Persie did not win the World Cup. I, also, did not win the World Cup. Neither did you. Unless you play for Spain. In which case, there's a good chance you also play for Barcelona. In which case, I'm going to have to ask you to stop being a jerk and tapping up Cesc. Thanks!
• New FC Barcelona president Sandro Rosell flew to South Africa specifically to talk to Arsene Wenger about the Fabregas transfer. Wenger refused to meet about the topic. [Daily Mirror]
• Also not talking about the Fabregas transfer: Cesc Fabregas. [Sky Sports]
• Impending additions: Mark Schwarzer and Joe Cole? Schwarzer is obviously only a one-year solution to the goalkeeping problem, since he's about 78 years old. [Daily Telegraph]
• Not an impending addition: Yoann Gourcuff. [Sky Sports]
• Formerly linked with Arsenal, but now going to West Ham: Loic Remy. [Daily Mail]
• Still probably leaving to either Celtic or Sunderland, but we won't know until after his honeymoon: Sol Campbell. [BBC]
• Probably going back to Spain: Manuel Almunia. [The People]
• Arsenal's first pre-season friendly: Five days from now.
• My overuse of colons in this news roundup: Highly annoying.
• I'll stop: Now.

News Roundup 5/13/10 - The Defensive Edition

William Gallas is just pissing everyone off now. Pic via Guardian.

• Arsene Wenger has admitted that he needs to make moves to strengthen the squad's defense next season, saying that conceding 41 goals is way too many to win a title. You know who's at fault for a lot of those goals? Almunia and Fabianski... Hint hint, wink wink. [BBC, Guardian, Daily Mirror]
• Speaking of the defense, Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood has called out William Gallas for his "extravagant" wage demands in their contract negotiations. Basically, Arsenal is prepared to let him walk rather than buckle on their principles. [ESPN Soccernet]
• I think Sol Campbell, likely back for another spell, should beat up William Gallas for being a contract negotiation jerk. [Guardian, Times, Daily Mail]
• Here are two end-of-season reports on the team's performance. [Sky Sports, Daily Mirror]
• Tabloids report that Cesc Fabregas told some friends that he'll sign for Barcelona before the start of the World Cup. Note that there are zero direct quotes from the skipper in the Mirror article, though the Mail has him say "I'm in no hurry to leave the club." This is becoming quite a soap opera. [Daily Mirror, Daily Mail]

News Roundup 5/6/10 - The Fixture Switch Denial Edition

"Roy Hodgson Is Very Disappointed in You" is a running feature on "Hipster Cottager." But this site is better. Pic via Guardian.

• Fulham put in a formal request to the Premier League to switch Sunday's fixture with Arsenal at the Emirates to Saturday, as they play the Europa League final on Wednesday. That request was denied, as all fixtures must start simultaneously on the season's final day. Plus, they cited that fans have already made their travel arrangements! From West London to North London? Really, you used that as an excuse? [Guardian, ESPN Soccernet]
• Three year extension for the Professor? Yes, please. Just as long as you let him spend this summer. [Daily Telegraph]
• With all ten fixtures at the same time, England manager Fabio Capello will be at the Emirates on Sunday, to watch Theo Walcott, Fulham's Bobby Zamora (who might not be fit), and surprise! Sol Campbell! [Guardian, Sky Sports]
• Wenger is rumored to be preparing a £10 million move for Senegalese center back Pape Malickou Diakhate from Dynamo Kyiv, currently on loan with Saint-Étienne. It's also said that Wenger has been tracking him for two years. [Daily Mirror]
• Does that mean contract talks are stalling with William Gallas? He's been linked with AS Roma again. They also want Eboue. [Daily Mail]
• More on Gianluigi Buffon, who we touched on yesterday: Juventus will gladly swap him to us, if we give them Cesc Fabregas or Robin van Persie. Arsenal, who would be ridiculous to give up either in this scenario, seems prepared to part with only Bacary Sagna in the deal. [Daily Mirror]
• Hey, I know we have Chamakh coming in, but how about another striker, or something? £15 million deal for Sampdoria striker Giampaolo Pazzini is in the rumor mill. [Daily Mail]
• It's UK Election Day. Don't forget to Vote Eboue! [Facebook]

News Roundup 3/25/10 - The Arsene Wenger Is Very Disappointed in the Media Edition

Sol Campbell is a fan of Hipster Gooner, says the Hipster Gooner staff interpretation of this photo. Pic via Arsenal.com.

• First of all, that thing about Andrei Arshavin yesterday, where he said Arsenal did not have enough players to win the title, was apparently from an interview in November, shortly after van Persie's injury. Good job, media for screwing with us. [Arsenal.com]
• Yesterday, The Mirror said Arsenal was making progress on William Gallas's contract situation. Arsene Wenger says the contract talks are actually on hold. Wow. Not even close, Mirror. [Arsenal.com]
• Arsene Wenger answers that question that has been bothering me all week about the center back position on Satuday. It will be Sol Campbell, because why prepare for the Barcelona on Wednesday when we play Birmingham on Saturday? Arsene Wenger is very disappointed in me. At least the site calls the suggestion of holding Campbell "a valid proposal," now I feel a little better. [Arsenal.com]
• Speaking of Sol Campbell, he's doing exactly what a veteran leader should do, rallying around the younger players on the squad to make sure they deliver silverware and not just pretty football. And if they don't, he will kick their asses. [Guardian]
• Meanwhile, Arsene Wenger is preparing to be cautious over the returns from injury of Robin van Persie and William Gallas. Seriously, just having them on the pitch again would be wonderful. [ESPN Soccernet]
• The Daily Mirror says that Nicklas Bendtner is highly doubtful for Saturday's trip to Birmingham with a twisted ankle... [Daily Mirror]
• ...but Arsene Wenger says no, he "should be OK." Once again media, stop jerking us around here. [Arsenal.com]
• If you haven't heard yet, Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini shoved Everton manager David Moyes during second half stoppage time of the Toffees 2-0 win at Eastlands yesterday. Arsene Wenger believed the incident proves that managers are "human – and that we care." This disproves my "Arsene Wenger is a kick-ass robot from the future" theory... or does it? [Guardian]

News Roundup 3/1/10 - The Successful Surgery Edition

Ryan Shawcross, sent off after colliding with Aaron Ramsey Saturday. Pic via the Times.

• First and foremost, don't forget to send in your messages to Aaron Ramsey.
• The surgeon who performed the surgery on Eduardo in 2008 has offered cautious optimism for Aaron Ramsey's to return to form in time, six months at the earliest. It's especially helpful (though still awful) that Arsenal has dealt with this before, recently. [ESPN Soccernet, Daily Mail]
• Stoke midfielder Glenn Whelan speaks about his attempts to console Ramsey as he lay injured on the pitch. [Guardian]
• "We will win the league for Aaron," says everybody; specifically Bendtner [Sky Sports], Fabregas [Times], and Wenger in not so specific words. [Arsenal.com]
• More later on the conspiracy theory that Arsenal is targeted for this kind of thing.
• Transfer rumor time! Jay Emmanuel-Thomas would be happy to remain on loan with Doncaster Rovers for the rest of the year. [BBC Sport]
• Tabloid reports are saying that a four-year signing of Bordeaux striker Marouane Chamakh is effectively done. Also reported is that Arsenal is one of five teams interested in West Bromwich Albion midfielder Graham Dorrans. [Guardian]

News Roundup 1/29/10 - The Is It Sunday Yet? Edition

Here's Jack Wilshere, running for his life from a bleached blond lunatic. Pic via Daily Mirror.

• Despite a last minute bid from Wigan, Jack Wilshere's transfer to Bolton Wanderers has been made official, as expected. [Daily Mirror]
• Start gearing up for Sunday's clash with Manchester United with this photo gallery of past matches from Guardian.
• March 13 match at Hull City has been tabbed for live television and has been moved up to 5:30 pm in England. Hull is quickly becoming Arsenal's ninth most heated rival! [Arsenal.com]
• Pressure is growing on Arsene Wenger to make a move in the final three days of the transfer window... [Daily Mirror]
• ...but he admits it's unlikely. [Daily Mirror, Arsenal.com]
  
• There's still a slim chance Tom Vermaelen will be fit for Sunday. That would be amazing. [Daily Mirror]
• But, if he's not, Arsene Wenger is confident in Sol Campbell's ability to contain Wayne Rooney. [Arsenal.com]
• Sir Alex Ferguson kindly asks his supporters not to call Arsene Wenger a pedophile. [Daily Telegraph]
• And, in one last bit of news I didn't want to hear, Bacary Sagna's agent has linked the blond dreadlocks to a possible summer transfer to Internazionale. [Sky Sports]
  

Aston Villa 0 - 0 Arsenal: I Didn't Drink Enough for This

Aston Villa 0
Arsenal 0

Well, that didn't go well.

I have to admit, it was not easy for me to keep tabs on this match. It wasn't going to be televised until 5:00, and since I have to know what's going on live, I decided to follow it from home, could not find a stream that worked for more than five minutes, and spent the last ten minutes of the match refreshing a search for "Arsenal" on Twitter to know what was happening.

Here's what I do know:

• Eduardo hurt his hamstring (I did see that happen) and will not be out for a long time, but will miss Sunday against Manchester United.
• Tom Vermaelen, on the other hand, looks to be more seriously injured. It's his fibula and it's either a nerve problem or it's broken.
• It's a good thing Arsenal might get Chris Smalling from Fulham.... oh... wait.... they failed and he's going to Manchester United next year.
  
• FUCK!
• I did see both Arsenal shots that hit the woodwork. I especially noticed Aaron Ramsey and Tomas Rosicky collide instead of shooting for the open net after Fabregas's post in first half stoppage time.
• Gael Clichy was completely outplayed by Ashley Young for 90 minutes.
  
• Chelsea won 3-0 thanks to that deal with Satan they must've made. Arsenal is now third in the table.
• Arsene Wenger spoke of Aston Villa's "long-ball" game, which caused Martin O'Neill to go apeshit insane.
  
• Also, I hear Wenger said O'Neill looks like a dork.
  

News Roundup 1/25/10 - The Second Guessing Edition

Damn it! Pic via Guardian.

• More on Arsenal's elimination and Arsene Wenger's choices from the FA Cup: Wenger defends his squad selections, given injuries [Daily Mirror], and praised the peformance of Sol Campbell, despite his culpability on both goals of Fuller's brace [Guardian].
• Speaking of the Guardian, they blast Wenger for his selections, saying "It is to English football's credit that he didn't succeed [with an under-strength side]" and that "Arsenal got what they deserved." [Guardian]
• Vito Mannone has signed a new long-term contract. Please put more pressure on Almunia's spot. Thank you. [Arsenal.com]
• Philippe Senderos has completed his loan to Everton for the rest of the season. [Sky Sports]
• Arsenal are apparently favorites to sign teenager striker Victor Moses from Crystal Palace. [Telegraph]
• UPDATE: Cameroon falls to Egypt in extra time of their knockout round match at the Africa Cup of Nations. That means both Eboue and Song are done in the tournament. My hope is that Arsenal had a charter jet to take Song right back to the Emirates immediately after today's loss.
  

You Know What Kicks Ass?

Arsene Wenger has an asteroid named after him.

News Roundup 1/22/10 - The Assault Edition

William Gallas, beware! Another challenge like that and Owen Coyle will attack from the shadows! Pic via Guardian.

• Owen Coyle admits that calling William Gallas's challenge that led to Arsenal's equalizer on Wednesday an "assault" was too strong. He's downgraded charges to simple battery. [Guardian]
• Arsene Wenger is very disappointed in the media for vilifying Gallas, in spite of the fact that "no-one minds when teams talk of kicking us." I'm gonna write up something on this thought a bit later. [Arsenal.com]
• Transfer window talk: The Daily Mirror says Wenger is unlikely to make a move in the window now that Nicklas Bendtner will return to fitness soon. [Daily Mirror]
• ...but he's still being coy on Fulham central defender Chris Smalling. [ESPN Soccernet]
• Goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny has extended his loan spell at Brentford until the end of January. That's such a long time... [Arsenal.com]
• FA Cup Fourth Round tie preview later tonight.
  

News Roundup 1/12/10 - The Return of Sol Edition

Campbell scores against F.C. Barcelona in the 2006 Champions League Final to give Arsenal a 1-0 lead. Let's pretend the rest of that game didn't happen. Pic via Gunners Today.

• Leading with this hilariousness, Harry Redknapp would basically prefer Arsenal's squad to his own at Tottenham, saying his squad has only one world-class player, while Arsenal has at least two. [Daily Mail]
• Arsenal's site conveniently posted a feature on their #15 greatest player of all-time, Sol Campbell... [Arsenal.com]
• ...though the Daily Mail reports that the site also accidentally announced his return to the squad prematurely. Arsene Wenger has spoken highly of the aging defender's fitness, so one hopes he doesn't have to borrow Patrick Vieira's mobility scooter any time soon. [Daily Mail]
• He's expected to play for the Reserves squad against West Ham tonight at Upton Park [Sky Sports]
  
• Fixture at home against Bolton has been rescheduled for Wednesday, January 20 at 7:45 p.m. GMT, 2:45 p.m. EST. Any guesses on why it'll be postponed this time? My money is on "unexplained power outage." [Arsenal.com]
  
• Injury updates: Gael Clichy should be back to training by next week, Nicklas Bendtner could be back in two weeks (best case is the FA Cup tie at Stoke City, I would think) so he should be fit for Arsenal's hellish stretch against Aston Villa, Manchester United, Chelsea, and Liverpool. No real update on Denilson, though it still stands that he and Cesc Fabregas will be fit for Sunday at Bolton. [Arsenal.com]
• Such continued disappointment... Arsene Wenger has again expressed his concerns over weather-related fixture postponements, with an inevitable pile-up coming for teams still involved in European tournaments. EVERYBODY PANIC!!! [Guardian]
• No Africa Cup updates today as both Arsenal players involved (Eboue for the Ivory Coast and Song for Cameroon) are off.
• Speaking of transfers, is Arsenal after Everton's Louis Saha? This makes two 30+ year old players the Gunners have been rumored to be close to signing. [Daily Mail, Guardian]
  

Fabregasm! Top Five Words Based on Arsenal Names

We all know that Cesc Fabregas is a sexy man, and that's why the word Fabregasm was invented. Because the folks at the NYC Arsenal Supporters Club are such a fan of that moniker, we at Hipster Gooner have our top five words based on the Red and White.

1. Fabregasm!
2. Ebouelliant
3. Velarize (Look it up)
4. Wengeance
5. Diabolical (Pronounced Dee-abolical)

Ok. We could probably do better. Feel free to suggest your own.