Songs of Farewell

Sometimes the transfer period can become a little over-intellectualised, so for those who want to know in simple terms the players leaving this summer Hipster Gooner's useful chant guide is a must.

Eduardo

"He went to them when Maroaune came Eddie! Eddie!
He scored twenty goals less than Darren Bent Eddie! Eddie!
He broke his leg and he won't be back,
but Darren Bent will still be cack!
Eduardo Silva! Shaktar Donetsk's number nine!!!

[In Ukrainian accent] lalalalalala etc."

William Gallas

"William Gallas isn't our mate! Isn't our mate! Isn't our mate! William Gallas isn't our mate! He hates Arsenal!"

Mikael Silvestre

*silence*

There are some songs that are just unbearable to consider:

Cesc Fabregas

"Oh Cesc Fab-re-gas, you were the love of my life!
Oh Cesc Fab-re-gas, I let you shag my wife!
Oh Cesc Fab-re-gas, you're Barcelona through and through!"

They've got Cesc Fabregas,
They've got Cesc Fabregas,
They've got Cesc Fabregas,
They've got Cesc Fabregas..."

Transfer Lies and Slander - 6/30/10

Arsenal might just win at knifey-spoony after all! Pic via Daily Telegraph.

IN: 

Laurent Koscielny – The Sun says the deal is done for the Lorient center back at £8.5 million. The Daily Mail says it's £10 million. The Daily Telegraph has the former number. The deal should probably be done by the end of the week. Let's get the Gooner chant machine going!

Mark Schwarzer – That Telegraph article above lists Schwarzer as Arsenal's next number one target signing once the Koscielny contract is inked.

Joe Cole – It's between Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur to sign the former Chelsea midfielder. With England out of the World Cup, this deal should be complete within the next two weeks.

Loic Remy – This story has been around before (where I made a good number of Nice puns), but the Nice striker still would like to be a Gunner. Nice's asking price remains too high.

Mario Balotelli – The Inter Milan 19-year-old striker's stay at the San Siro is uncertain and he admits that Arsenal is "a great team."

Madjid Bougherra – The Algerian defender from Rangers in the SPL has spent time in England at Crewe Alexandra, Sheffield Wednesday, and Charlton Athletic, but only his brief stay in South-East London was top flight. With a Koscielny deal essentially done, I can only see this move happening if Sol Campbell departs.

OUT:

Henri Lansbury (LOAN) – Newcastle United is keen on the 19-year-old midfielder, who spent last year in the Championship on loan at Watford, and appeared for the Gunners in the final match of the year against Fulham.

William Gallas – Essentially out the door already, the conversation on his free agent singing appears to now be between Panathinaikos and PSG.

Sol Campbell – Arsenal's policy on contracts with 30+ players might have cost them Sol Campbell, as the big center back is looking for more than a one year deal. It looks like Celtic are willing to offer one.

Eduardo – The Brazilian-born Croatian has struggled with form since his catastrophic leg injury, and after the signing of Chamakh, it appears he may be surplus to necessity at the Emirates. Aston Villa is interested in him to replace the possibly departing John Carew.

Jay Simpson – The 21-year-old reserve forward has spent the last three years away from Arsenal on loan at Millwall, West Brom, and QPR, but as he desires consistent first-team football, he might have to depart the Gunners. A bevy of teams are interested.

Transfer Lies and Slander - 6/25/10

Kos-chell-ny? Ko-shell-ny? Kos-choo-cha-la... Pic via Daily Mail.

Unless an actual deal is completed, Hipster Gooner will keep you posted on all of the crazy transfer rumors and nonsense with a weekly feature called Transfer Lies and Slander! Throughout the window, moves that have officially been completed will be listed on the blog's frame to the right.

Enjoy the madness!

IN:

Laurent Koscielny (CB, from Lorient)

With William Gallas and Mikael Silvestre gone and possibly Sol Campbell too, Arsenal has a well-documented crisis at center back. Thomas Vermaelen and Johan Djourou are currently the only players on the squad in this position. Arsenal is currently very close to completing a deal for Laurent Koscielny from Lorient in France's Ligue 1.

The Gunners have shipped Francis Coquelin in the opposite direction for a loan spell in order to sweeten the deal, but Lorient wants Arsenal to up their bid for Koscielny. Word from the Daily Mail is, there's a deal on the table, but it is being held back because Arsene Wenger, in South Africa covering the World Cup for French television, left his Blackberry in London and is unable to review the terms of the deal. How bizarre. In any case, it appears that this transfer is all but complete.

Now, is it "Kos-chell-ny" or "Ko-shell-ny" or neither? I imagine it's supposed to be the first, but most British commentators will say it the latter way.

Mark Schwarzer (GK, from Fulham)

We've covered the fact that Fulham has already denied one offer for their 37-year-old Australian goalkeeper, but word is that Arsenal have sent the Cottagers an updated offer, near £3.5 million. It is obvious that Arsenal needs an experienced goalkeeper to bridge the gap between current goalkeeper tandem Tweedledee and Tweedledum and goalkeeper of the future, Wojciech Szczesny.

Schwarzer, of course, did not have the best of World Cups for the Aussies, being at fault for at least two goals conceded by the Socceroos. It seems that many goalies linked with Arsenal (also notably Hugo Lloris of France) allowed a few howlers. Auditioning for the role of new Almunianski, are they?

Mesut Ozil (MF, from Werder Bremen)

Ozil has been linked with Arsenal in transfer windows past, but now the young star for the German national team is linked with a number of big name teams, including Chelsea and Manchester City. Arsenal may see Ozil as a replacement should they lose Cesc Fabregas, though Ozil is more of an attack minded midfielder, rather than a box-to-box playmaker like Cesc.

Of course, now Barcelona want Ozil too. Why do Barcelona think they have all the money in the world? They probably can't afford Fabregas alone, considering what Arsenal deserves to be paid for him, yet the Catalans think they can buy Fabregas, Ozil, Torres, and others in addition to already splashing for David Villa? Their Catalan egos are frustrating the rest of the world.

Federico Marchetti (GK, from Cagliari)

If Schwarzer does not work out for the Gunners, they've also been linked with Federico Marchetti of Cagliari in Serie A and the Italian national team. Like Schwarzer and Lloris, Marchetti did not have a great World Cup, replacing the injured Gianluigi Buffon. Who was the last Italian keeper to allow four goals in the group stage and not win a game? I'll wait for your answer because that's more research than I feel like doing right now.

In any case, this move looks highly unlikely. It seems like Marchetti won't move unless Cagliari receives "an offer he cannot refuse" (thanks for The Godfather reference, Sky Sports.)

Joe Cole (MF, from Chelsea)

Joe Cole is one of very few Chelsea players that I really don't hate on a personal level. Chelsea will be releasing the 28-year-old midfielder as of July 1 and there in interest in his services from Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspur, and Manchester United. It is said that United is not, in fact, in the running, and there have been rumors that a deal with Arsenal has already been completed, but no word is likely to be announced until after the World Cup.

Renat Yanbaev (LB, from Lokomotiv Moscow)

Barcelona wants Gael Clichy, in addition to kidnapping Cesc Fabregas, which could leave Arsenal in need of another left back, assuming Kieran Gibbs and Armand Traore are not yet ready to start. Considering I can't see Arsenal having much of a conversation with Barcelona over anybody right now, I don't really see this move being necessary, but there have been whispers that they have been looking at Renat Yanbaev, a 26-year-old Russian defender that can play on either the left or right side. Making this transfer even more unlikely is that fact that Yanbaev would not be awarded a work permit to play in England right away anyway.

OUT:

Cesc Fabregas (MF, to Barcelona)

I don't think I could say much here that you don't already know.

Gael Clichy (LB, to Barcelona)

Rumors that Clichy might leave to Barcelona, Real Madrid, or Juventus have been circulating slowly all summer, but Arsenal are not likely to be selling a young defender already under contract, given the team's general frailty at the position. The rumors will likely continue, but I would expect Clichy to stay.

William Gallas (CB, to Juventus)

It's no surprise: William Gallas will not play for Arsenal next year. I think we all know that.

He's not under contract either, so there's no transfer fee to discuss. Arsenal does have a one-year deal on the table, but Gallas wants more money (and I'm not so sure he deserves it), which leaves Gallas now looking at offers from Juventus (though he wants more money from them than they're offering), PSG, Roma, and the two big Greek sides in Athens. After a disastrous World Cup for France, I can't see Gallas getting the contract he desires; he's probably best to settle soon.

Alex Song (MF, to Galatasaray)

Turkish side Galatasaray have reportedly offered £4 million for the services of the Cameroonian holding midfielder and Arsenal have, unsurprisingly, said no. Arsene Wenger is likely to keep Song, the linchpin of the defensive midfield, until his contract expires in 2014.

Sol Campbell (CB, to Celtic)

Sol Campbell had a surprisingly successful return to North London last spring, but his contract has expired. While Arsenal has sent a one-year contract proposal his way, Campbell is taking his time in reviewing his options. Last year proved that Campbell still has it, and he is now hearing interest from Celtic of the SPL. Newcastle United have denied interest.

International Gunner Watch - Most Gunners Out!

It's been a while since I've updated this (sorry!), but basically, since the last update, most Gunners in the tournament have had their nations eliminated. In a way, this is good news; one Arsenal player has already been hurt (Vela), we really can't stand any more.

Emmanuel Eboue's tournament will likely end tomorrow unless he scores ten goals or something; Cesc Fabregas and Spain could possibly be a shock elimination too, if they lose or draw to Chile and don't get help.

France 1: Malouda 70
South Africa 2: Khumalo 20, Mphela 37

France's nightmare of a tournament ended Tuesday with a 2-1 loss to the host nation. After the ridiculous walk out/mutiny/etc, four Gunners started for the French against South Africa (Sagna, Gallas, Clichy, and Diaby.) Hugo Lloris misplayed a cross into the box leading to South Africa's first goal and Gael Clichy lost the ball at his feet, leading to the second, with Yoann Gourcuff sent off for the French in between. Flourent Malouda scored a consolation goal late.

Cameroon 1: Eto'o 65 (pen)
Netherlands 2: van Persie 36, Huntelaar 83

If Spain manages to get knocked out of the tournament tomorrow, Robin van Persie will be the only Arsenal player who is both healthy and has his team still in the tournament at the same time (Mexico has advanced, but Carlos Vela is hurt.)

Van Persie scored the opener for the Dutch today, who were already assured of a slot in the knockout stage. It was van Persie's first of the World Cup, having set up a few others for the Oranje. Samuel Eto'o equalized for already eliminated Cameroon before van Persie's replacement, Klaas Jan Huntelaar scored the winner, his second of the World Cup finals.

Alex Song played all 90 minutes for Cameroon.

Denmark 1: Tomasson 81
Japan 3: Honda 17, Endo 30, Okazaki 87

Nicklas Bendtner, groin injury and all, played 90 minutes for the now eliminated Danes, who were outclassed by Japan from the start. Japan took a 2-0 lead in the first half hour, both strikes from direct free kicks. The Danes pulled one back after Jon Dahl Tomasson badly had a penalty saved only to poke home the rebound, but were finished when substitute Shinji Okazaki closed the scoring.

Bendtner was booked for getting his elbow too high on a challenge for a header by a referee that seemed to enjoy showing yellow cards; five players were booked in all.

International Gunner Watch - Mexico v. Les Catastrophes

France = Fail. Pic Source = Guardian.

France 0

Mexico 2: Hernandez 64, Blanco 79 (pen)

Pay attention to France now, because it doesn't look like you'll be seeing them for much longer.

Bacary Sagna, William Gallas, and Abou Diaby all started for the French team, who were pretty dreadful on the whole. France have now appeared ridiculously frustrated for 180 minutes in this tournament, and from the results they've put up so far, it looks like they have 90 minutes left in South Africa.

In their 0-0 draw with Uruguay, they at least kept the door shut defensively. Today, they did not. Mexico perfectly beat a woeful offside trap with a perfect chip pass, giving soon-to-be Manchester United forward Javier Hernandez a beautiful opening goal. It's not so much the trap failing that was bad, rather, it was the defenders' lack of hustle to fix the situation when the flag didn't go up from the assistant. They just stood around with their arms in the air in confusion.

The second goal came as a consequence of some bad defense again, but this time, the Gunners on the back line can't be faulted. Patrice Evra, captain and all, appeared to give up on the play as Barrero carried the ball into the box on the break and was taken out poorly by Barcelona's Eric Abidal, giving Mexico a penalty. It was truly a poor challenge from Abidal; he has the speed to be able to close down Barrero, but instead, chose to lunge at him in a sliding challenge that was nowhere near the ball. Blanco converted the penalty, giving Mexico a great chance to advance to the Round of 16.

Carlos Vela started for Mexico, but left with a hamstring injury at the half hour mark. His tournament is probably over. Arsenal players remain made of glass.

International Gunner Watch - Les Bleus

A clip from Abou Diaby's Rockettes audition tape. Pic via Guardian.

Uruguay 0

France 0 

Three Gunners cracked the starting XI for France as Les Bleus opened their 2010 FIFA World Cup with a scoreless draw against Uruguay. Abou Diaby made the surprise start in place of Chelsea's Flourent Malouda in midfield, while Bacary Sagna and still-technically-a-Gunner William Gallas started on the back line. Gael Clichy did not feature off the bench.

Scary moment for Arsenal fans toward the end of a match that was frustrating for France offensively. Bacary Sagna was taken out with a studs-up challenge from Lodeiro, who was subsequently sent off for his second bookable foul. The way his studs caught Sagna in the shin reminded me very much of the impact between Martin Taylor and Eduardo with which I am sure we are all familiar. Thankfully, Sagna's fate was much kinder, and after a quick check-up, the man with the blond dreadlocks reappeared on the pitch, and nearly set up a winning header from Thierry Henry.

Abou Diaby, who had a fine match in midfield, drew a free kick at the top of the area a minute from time, but Henry sent the shot into the wall, and France had to settle with a nil-nil share of the points.

All four teams in Group A drew today's opening matches.

News Roundup 6/10/10 - The Wild Transfer Crazy Time Edition

Arsene Wenger is surprisingly not very disappointed in you today. Pic via Guardian.

• Some sort of major international tournament or something starts tomorrow. Yeah, I know, I haven't heard anything about it either. This one really flew under my radar.
• Philippe Senderos has officially signed with Fulham. This fancy little "best moments at Arsenal" feature includes "being loaned to AC Milan," for some reason. [Guardian, Arsenal.com]
• It appears the Gunners officially made a bid for Fulham and Australia goalkeeper Mick "Crocodile" Dundee Mark Schwarzer. Word is, Fulham said "That's not a bid. This is a bid!" and then pulled out a spoon. The big knifey-spoony game has begun. [Sky Sports, ESPN Soccernet, Daily Mirror]
• Also covered in those Schwarzer articles: Chairman Peter Hill-Wood has called William Gallas's wage demands "excessive." Given the current situation at center back, it appears Vermaelen and Djourou will not be permitted to get hurt this year.
• Joe Cole will be released from his contract at Chelsea at the end of the month. Arsene Wenger says he likes Cole as a player, but apparently you shouldn't read into this, because that deal isn't happening. [Guardian, Daily Mirror]
• Arsenal will not be selling Fabregas, especially now that they put him on the cover of the newest edition of the club magazine! [Daily Mirror]
• This article that includes actual quotes from Wenger drives that point across a little better... [ESPN Soccernet]
• If you haven't heard, Barcelona might try to include Yaya Toure in a transfer deal to sweeten the Cesc move a little bit, but his agent says Barca is demanding too much money for him, which will hurt a potential move. [Guardian, Daily Mail]

International Gunner Watch - Official Squads

11 Gunners will go to South Africa, that is, if Senderos still counts... he does, right? Pic via Daily Mail.

In January, center back Philippe Senderos was moved to Everton on loan because he wasn't getting playing time in North London and needed to see time on the pitch to assure his spot on Switzerland's World Cup squad.

Looking back five months later: Senderos made only three appearances for the Toffees while Arsenal immediately suffered an injury crisis at his position; in the end, Senderos made the Swiss squad anyway. At the time, it appeared that Senderos was gone for good, and that's still probably true; his contract expires this summer. But for now, he still counts as one of 11 Arsenal players heading to South Africa for the World Cup, which begins a week from Friday.

Of those named to their respective national preliminary squads, only Theo Walcott failed to make the final cut to 23-man squads, a somewhat surprising revelation we touched on yesterday.

As for the other ten Arsenal players at the World Cup? France lays claim to four of them, which includes William Gallas, who may also not be long for North London. He joins Bacary Sagna, Gael Clichy, and Abou Diaby on the French squad in Group A.

Mexico, also in Group A includes Carlos Vela as a striker.

The aforementioned Senderos and Switzerland are in Group H, along with Spain, and Cesc Fabregas, who is also still a Gunner for now.

Everybody's favorite should-have-been-voted-Prime-Minister Emmanuel Eboue will play for the Ivory Coast in Group G.

And Group E will feature three Gunners on three different teams: Holland with Robin van Persie, Denmark with Nicklas Bendtner, and Cameroon with Alex Song.

International Gunner Watch - 5/31/10

William Gallas rescued France on Sunday. Pic via Virgin Media.

Thursday: Denmark 2 - 0 Senegal

• Nicklas Bendtner did not feature for the Danes in their 2-0 win on home soil.

Saturday: Slovakia 1 - 1 Cameroon

• Alex Song played 85 minutes on the back line as Cameroon needed an 82nd minute equalizer from Eyong Enoh to draw level with Slovakia.

Saturday: Spain 3 - 2 Saudi Arabia

• Spain struggled to slip past Saudi Arabia, scoring their winner in second half injury time. Despite all of Spain's struggles in this match, Cesc Fabregas remained an unused substitute.

Sunday: Mexico 5 - 1 Gambia

• Carlos Vela played 56 minutes in Mexico's four goal victory over the smallest country on mainland Africa. Javier Hernandez and Adolfo Herrera Bautista both picked up braces.

Sunday: Paraguay 2 - 2 Ivory Coast

• Emmanuel Eboue was a halftime substitute for the African nation, in a match that was 0-0 at the half. Ivory Coast took a two goal lead before allowing Paraguay to score twice in the final 15 minutes to pull level.

Sunday: Japan 1 - 2 England

• Theo Walcott struggled, along with the rest of the English squad, in their lucky 2-1 win over Japan, which saw the Japanese score both England goals in their own net. Walcott played only the first half and did not impress. He'll still likely make the final 23-man squad, but barely.

Sunday: Tunisia 1 - 1 France

• William Gallas scored the equalizing goal in the 62nd minute as France pulled level with their former protectorate. He was subbed off after 64 minutes.
• Bacary Sagna started the match on the back line as well, took a yellow card, and played 90 minutes.
• Gael Clichy and Abou Diaby both appeared off the bench at the 64 minute mark.

International Gunner Watch - 5/27/10

 Yesterday's friendly for van Persie went a lot better than the last one. Pic via Guardian.

Netherlands 2 - 1 Mexico

• Robin van Persie picked up a brace in his return to international action as Holland beat Mexico 2-1 in Germany. Van Persie, playing his first game for the national team since rupturing ankle tendons in a previous international friendly in November, scored goals in the 17th and 41st minutes. Van Persie was, however, pulled in the 64th with tightness in his hamstring.
• Carlos Vela played the final 35 minutes for Mexico off the bench, two days after starting at Wembley.

France 2 - 1 Costa Rica

• France struggled on home soil to beat Costa Rica 2-1 on Wednesday, needing an own goal to equalize before Mathieu Valbuena scored an 83rd minute winner, assisted by second half substitute, Abou Diaby.
• William Gallas started the match at center back and played the first half, while Bacary Sagna played all 90 minutes at right back.

International Gunner Watch - 5/25/10

Mexico's Carlos Vela had as many shots in one half at Wembley yesterday as he had all year for Arsenal. Pic via CBC.

Yesterday: England 3 - 1 Mexico

• Theo Walcott frustrated England fans as he has frustrated Arsenal fans yesterday at Wembley as he often put himself in wonderful position with beautiful strides down the flank, only to have a poor final touch at the end. Of course, some crosses were better than others, and his work freed up a ball for Liverpool's Glen Johnson, who then had the great individual effort to score England's third and final goal.
• Carlos Vela started for Mexico and had two shots on goal in the first half (equal to the number of shots on goal he had for Arsenal this year) which were both stopped by keeper Robert Green of West Ham United. He probably should have buried the first.

Today: Georgia 0 - 0 Cameroon

• Alex Song played the first half for the Indomitable Lions as they were held scoreless by 119th ranked team in the world, Georgia, in today's friendly match in Austria.

Non-Appearances

• Eduardo has not played for Croatia's national team in a friendly this summer. Croatia beat Wales 2-0 on Sunday.
• As far as I can tell, Thomas Vermaelen has not featured for Belgium either; even though Belgium is not going to the World Cup, Vermaelen will spend his summer in Africa anyway.
• Tomas Rosicky was left behind in Europe, still nursing an ankle injury he suffered after the Manchester City match in April, for the Czech Republic's trip to the United States. The Czechs lost to Turkey 2-1 on Saturday and will play the United States tonight. 

France!

• William Gallas has been declared fit to feature for France, escaping injury in a buggy crash during a team-bonding exercise.
• Gallas, Gael Clichy, Bacary Sagna, and Abou Diaby have all been confirmed as part of France's 23-man World Cup squad.

News Roundup 5/13/10 - The Defensive Edition

William Gallas is just pissing everyone off now. Pic via Guardian.

• Arsene Wenger has admitted that he needs to make moves to strengthen the squad's defense next season, saying that conceding 41 goals is way too many to win a title. You know who's at fault for a lot of those goals? Almunia and Fabianski... Hint hint, wink wink. [BBC, Guardian, Daily Mirror]
• Speaking of the defense, Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood has called out William Gallas for his "extravagant" wage demands in their contract negotiations. Basically, Arsenal is prepared to let him walk rather than buckle on their principles. [ESPN Soccernet]
• I think Sol Campbell, likely back for another spell, should beat up William Gallas for being a contract negotiation jerk. [Guardian, Times, Daily Mail]
• Here are two end-of-season reports on the team's performance. [Sky Sports, Daily Mirror]
• Tabloids report that Cesc Fabregas told some friends that he'll sign for Barcelona before the start of the World Cup. Note that there are zero direct quotes from the skipper in the Mirror article, though the Mail has him say "I'm in no hurry to leave the club." This is becoming quite a soap opera. [Daily Mirror, Daily Mail]

News Roundup 5/12/10 - The Gunnersaurus Edition

Sorry, I just enjoy pictures of Gunnersaurus. Pic via Arsenal.com.

• After Blackpool secured a date at Wembley yesterday, Cardiff City will look to extend their 1-0 lead over Leicester City tonight at home in the second leg of their semifinal tie. I believe we'll be covering it again, as Hipster Bluebird this time. And not as Hipster Foxes, which upset our own Max Foxman. Sorry, Max.
• The Gunners have announced two more pre-season friendlies, in addition to the end of July Emirates Cup: one July 17 at Barnet F.C. and another on August 7 in Warsaw. [Arsenal.com]
• Arsene Wenger has been promised that the funds for transfer moves this summer are indeed available. *coughbuyagoalkeepercough* [Daily Telegraph, Guardian]
• Contract negotiations are not going well with William Gallas. This could spark a move for Lyon's Jeremy Toulalan. [Guardian]
• Then, there's talk of the Toure's coming to North London. Yaya, who shot down the rumors last summer while getting significant playing time at Barca, is now 90% sure he's leaving Camp Nou. [Guardian, Daily Mirror, Sky Sports]
• If Barcelona takes Cesc Fabregas away from us, Wenger is keen on replacing him with Everton's Mikael Arteta. [Guardian, Daily Mirror]
• Arsenal legend Tony Adams has been appointed as manager of Azerbaijan side Gabala F.C. Last year, the Radars finished 10th in the Azerbaijan Premier League. [Arsenal.com]

International Gunner Watch: Preliminary Squad Time!

Samir Nasri: Not one of four Gunners on France's preliminary squad. Pic via Enjoy France.

May 11 marks one month until the start of the World Cup, and with that, today was the deadline for international teams to submit their preliminary squads for the tournament. Each country's squad must be cut down to 23 players by June 1, but for now, the roster's sit at, at most, 30 players. Here are the Arsenal players who have been named to their respective country's provisional squads:

GROUP A:

Mexico: Carlos Vela

France: Gael Clichy, Abou Diaby, William Gallas, and Bacary Sagna

GROUP C:

England: Theo Walcott

GROUP E:
Netherlands: Robin van Persie
Denmark: Nicklas Bendtner
Cameroon: Alex Song

GROUP G:
Ivory Coast: Emmanuel Eboue
  
GROUP H:
Spain: Cesc Fabregas
Switzerland: Philippe Senderos

Stay tuned to Hipster Gooner all summer for news about every Gunners' progress (and health, fingers crossed) in international play! 

News Roundup 5/6/10 - The Fixture Switch Denial Edition

"Roy Hodgson Is Very Disappointed in You" is a running feature on "Hipster Cottager." But this site is better. Pic via Guardian.

• Fulham put in a formal request to the Premier League to switch Sunday's fixture with Arsenal at the Emirates to Saturday, as they play the Europa League final on Wednesday. That request was denied, as all fixtures must start simultaneously on the season's final day. Plus, they cited that fans have already made their travel arrangements! From West London to North London? Really, you used that as an excuse? [Guardian, ESPN Soccernet]
• Three year extension for the Professor? Yes, please. Just as long as you let him spend this summer. [Daily Telegraph]
• With all ten fixtures at the same time, England manager Fabio Capello will be at the Emirates on Sunday, to watch Theo Walcott, Fulham's Bobby Zamora (who might not be fit), and surprise! Sol Campbell! [Guardian, Sky Sports]
• Wenger is rumored to be preparing a £10 million move for Senegalese center back Pape Malickou Diakhate from Dynamo Kyiv, currently on loan with Saint-Étienne. It's also said that Wenger has been tracking him for two years. [Daily Mirror]
• Does that mean contract talks are stalling with William Gallas? He's been linked with AS Roma again. They also want Eboue. [Daily Mail]
• More on Gianluigi Buffon, who we touched on yesterday: Juventus will gladly swap him to us, if we give them Cesc Fabregas or Robin van Persie. Arsenal, who would be ridiculous to give up either in this scenario, seems prepared to part with only Bacary Sagna in the deal. [Daily Mirror]
• Hey, I know we have Chamakh coming in, but how about another striker, or something? £15 million deal for Sampdoria striker Giampaolo Pazzini is in the rumor mill. [Daily Mail]
• It's UK Election Day. Don't forget to Vote Eboue! [Facebook]

News Roundup 4/9/10 - The Dramatic Return Edition

Here's Robin van Persie, with two guys who don't play for us anymore. Pic via some random wallpaper site.

• Arsenal.com came out with a great interview with head physio Colin Lewin, on the team's rash of injuries this season. Here's what we learned:
• Cesc Fabregas will be able to play for Spain in the World Cup.
• Aaron Ramsey will make a full recovery and be back by autumn.
• Defenders Johan Djourou and Kieran Gibbs will resume training soon...
• ...as will Robin van Persie!
• Here's more on van Persie's return from the Guardian. The Daily Mirror suggests that van Persie could return to action Wednesday at Tottenham, given how crucial the match is for Arsenal's title hopes. It's not like a tabloid would ever exaggerate, right? My assumption would be that he'd return on the 24th against City, maybe next Sunday at Wigan if he's lucky. The last time we rushed a guy back from injury, Gallas re-injured himself in 40 minutes and is done for the year and France is pissed. Learn from our mistaken gambles or go all in? 
• Strong words from the blond dreadlocks: Bacary Sagna says Arsenal "plays too much" and is more concerned as a team about playing pretty rather than winning. Considering the source on this article, ESPN Soccernet, I'm sure they've twisted things to blow it out of proportion.
• The Daily Telegraph blames the Premier League's "culture of debt" on their crashes out of Europe before the Champions League Semi-Finals. Actually, it was Bayern Munich's president that said it. Again, grains of salt available for those interested.
• Hey look, transfer rumors! Of course, nothing is official until the window opens in the summer, but here's some more from the Daily Mail on Marouane Chamakh's move to North London. I know they're a tabloid too, but there's a quote from Chamakh about the move.
• More from the Telegraph, this time on Arsenal's well-documented need to buy central defenders in the summer. Actually, I'm totally comfortable with Silvsetre. If this wasn't text, you'd realize that I can't say that with a straight face.
• Nicklas Bendtner and Manuel Almunia on how important it is to rebound from Tuesday's loss with a win at Spurs.
• That match at Spurs on Wednesday will be broadcast in 3D by Sky Sports. Arsenal has lost all one of their matches that have been broadcast in 3D. I don't like those odds.

Champions League: Arsenal 2 - 2 Barcelona: Total Football, Total Ridiculousness

Cesc Fabregas will be out for the remainder of the domestic season. Sigh. Pic via Guardian.

Arsenal 2: Walcott 69, Fabregas 85 (pen)

Barcelona 2: Ibrahimovic 46, 59

It was a bizarre night in North London for the Gunners, who were thoroughly outplayed by their Catalan opponents for significant stretches, suffered three major injuries, and still escaped, somehow, with a 2-2 draw.

For the first twenty or so minutes, Arsenal appeared to fail to realize that there was a match being played. Barcelona seemed to be playing a large scale game of keep-away and the Gunners were quite content to sit back and watch for very long periods of time. Also, hey, who was that new goalkeeper we had for the first half? Because there's no logical reason why the sentence "Manuel Almunia is the only reason Arsenal was still in this game" should ever be written, especially after his display in stoppage time. Arsenal had all of two chances in the first half (compared to Barca's six hundred and forty seven). Nasri whipped a shot just wide of the far post from the left side and Bendtner shot once right at the keeper but pounded the rebound off the woodwork, then ended up offside.

A key aspect of the first half was the injuries: Arsene Wenger took a gamble on starting William Gallas, who was still not back to full fitness. The gamble failed as Gallas left injured on a stretcher, shortly after Andrei Arshavin limped off. The injuries forced Alex Song from midfield to center back, bringing Denilson and Eboue off the bench (while leaving Sol Campbell sitting.) Final notes on the first half: how in God's name was it still nil-nil and how in God's name was that a yellow card to Fabregas? Mind boggling stuff from the officials at certain points in this game as it seemed like any slight wind would knock Barcelona's players to the ground. That leads me to believe that Barca would struggle in the Premier League against the likes of Bolton and Stoke.

As soon as the second half started, regular Almunia returned and Zlatan Ibrahimovic, played onside by an out-of-position Alex Song, charged up the wing and Almunia, indecisive as ever, came out to challenge, inexplicably stopped, then had the ball lofted easily over his head and into the net. This match was stunningly scoreless at halftime and it was 1-0 22 seconds later.

And then Ibrahimovic scored again thirteen minutes later, again beating an indecisive Almunia after being played onside by Song, and the match and the tie felt like they were slipping away.

Then, Theo Walcott came on the pitch. And just a few minutes after the substitution, it was 2-1. I've noticed that Walcott plays spectacularly whenever the TV cameras show that Fabio Capello is in the crowd watching him. Suddenly, Arsenal was in control. My first instinct at this point was that Arsenal sat back and allowed Barcelona so much time and space with the ball so that they'd have fresher legs for the final twenty minutes or so. It's more likely that Barca got complacent with their lead.

Cesc Fabregas won a penalty in the 84th, having been pulled down by Barca skipper Carles Puyol, who was sent off for a last man foul. In the process, Fabregas cracked his right fibula and will be out for the rest of the domestic season. With a broken leg, he took the spot kick anyway and brought Arsenal level, then played the rest of the match because Arsenal had already used all three of their allowed substituions. How bad ass is that?

So, it's all even going back to Camp Nou, though the Gunners are in trouble if away goals come into play. Arsenal will be without Fabregas, without Gallas, and without Arshavin. But both of Barca's center backs (Puyol and Pique) will be suspended. Tuesday should be as much of a roller coaster as yesterday was for us Gooners, but let's all remember, we still have Wolves first.

News Roundup 3/25/10 - The Arsene Wenger Is Very Disappointed in the Media Edition

Sol Campbell is a fan of Hipster Gooner, says the Hipster Gooner staff interpretation of this photo. Pic via Arsenal.com.

• First of all, that thing about Andrei Arshavin yesterday, where he said Arsenal did not have enough players to win the title, was apparently from an interview in November, shortly after van Persie's injury. Good job, media for screwing with us. [Arsenal.com]
• Yesterday, The Mirror said Arsenal was making progress on William Gallas's contract situation. Arsene Wenger says the contract talks are actually on hold. Wow. Not even close, Mirror. [Arsenal.com]
• Arsene Wenger answers that question that has been bothering me all week about the center back position on Satuday. It will be Sol Campbell, because why prepare for the Barcelona on Wednesday when we play Birmingham on Saturday? Arsene Wenger is very disappointed in me. At least the site calls the suggestion of holding Campbell "a valid proposal," now I feel a little better. [Arsenal.com]
• Speaking of Sol Campbell, he's doing exactly what a veteran leader should do, rallying around the younger players on the squad to make sure they deliver silverware and not just pretty football. And if they don't, he will kick their asses. [Guardian]
• Meanwhile, Arsene Wenger is preparing to be cautious over the returns from injury of Robin van Persie and William Gallas. Seriously, just having them on the pitch again would be wonderful. [ESPN Soccernet]
• The Daily Mirror says that Nicklas Bendtner is highly doubtful for Saturday's trip to Birmingham with a twisted ankle... [Daily Mirror]
• ...but Arsene Wenger says no, he "should be OK." Once again media, stop jerking us around here. [Arsenal.com]
• If you haven't heard yet, Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini shoved Everton manager David Moyes during second half stoppage time of the Toffees 2-0 win at Eastlands yesterday. Arsene Wenger believed the incident proves that managers are "human – and that we care." This disproves my "Arsene Wenger is a kick-ass robot from the future" theory... or does it? [Guardian]

News Roundup 3/24/10 - The Doubt Edition

Arsenal needs more clockwork bunnies, says Arshavin. Pic via Guardian.

• Andrei Arshavin is pretty sure Arsenal doesn't have enough players and depth to win the league. His web site, however, quotes him as saying "we should win all remaining games." Make up your mind, Andrei. He then finally offered an exhaustive explanation of ideological anarchism. [Guardian]
• Denilson, however, believes that the team's past experiences have left them in a stronger position than ever before. Yes, this is the kind of thing you expect to hear from your players. None of that Arshavin doubt crap. [Sky Sports]
• The Telegraph has an article about Wenger's selection problem at center back for this Saturday's match at Birmingham, which I talked about a bit yesterday. Somehow, they arrive at the conclusion that it would be Campbell Saturday, then likely Silvestre against Barcelona. No. That is not okay. No. No. No. [Telegraph]
• Manchester United's Paul Scholes keeps saying they're going to win the rest of their games too. Like this is the third time he's said that this month. You know, Paul, too much hubris can result in bad karma, like a loss at Bolton on Saturday, or something. [ESPN Soccernet]
• Stoke manager Tony Pulis said "moaners like Wenger just want to shoot us down." Hmmm, I wonder why a team like Arsenal would think Stoke City is a bunch of bullies... Pulis's comments came after yet another Stoke player was sent off at the weekend. [Daily Mirror]
• Arsenal have made some progress in contract talks with William Gallas. How about some progress on that calf injury, okay? [Daily Mirror]
• Nice striker (the team in France, though I'm sure he's a wonderful guy too) Loic Remy has revealed that he still wants to come to Arsenal, despite a January deal failing due to Nice's high asking price, which wasn't very nice of them. I'm sorry for that. [Daily Mail]
• Internazionale is preparing a £36m offer for Cesc Fabregas, offering U-21 star Mario Balotelli in the exchange. Sky Sport Italia has reported that Inter has even placed Fabregas under their insurance already, suggesting a deal is done. Cesc's representatives have stated that there is no contact with Inter, let alone a deal in place. [Daily Mail]

News Roundup 3/23/10 - The One Match Ban Edition

Well, this Saturday should be difficult... Pic via Guardian.

One bit of (huge) news today. Yesterday, Arsenal chose to appeal Thomas Vermaelen's red card to the Football Association.

The FA has just announced that Arsenal's appeal has been dismissed:

At a Regulatory Commission hearing today, a claim for wrongful dismissal from Arsenal defender Thomas Vermaelen was dismissed.

Vermaelen was shown a red card for denying an obvious goalscoring opportunity during Arsenal’s match against West Ham United on Saturday 20 March.

He will now serve a one match suspension with immediate effect.

With William Gallas still injured and a Champions League tie with Barcelona four days following this Saturday's clash with Birmingham City at St. Andrew's, the center defense position looks exceedingly shaky for the Gunners. Sol Campbell probably cannot play both games given his age and fitness level. I'd expect to see Mikael Silvestre and Alex Song start on the back line Saturday. But, I could be dead wrong, we'll see.

In addition, this is a horrible call. West Ham's striker by no means even had possession when he was brought down. Can someone please tell me how a player can have "an obvious goalscoring opportunity" when the ball is floating around his shoulder and the defender's?