Brokesmouth Relegated, West Brom Returns

Samir Nasri scored his first goal with Arsenal, and the first goal of the 2008-09 season against West Bromwich Albion, in the 4th minute. But what is with his teeth? Pic via Guardian.

Everyone has been expecting it for weeks, but today Portsmouth was mathematically relegated from the Premier League, thanks to West Ham's 1-0 win over Sunderland at Upton Park. Wigan Athletic sits in the last safe space at 17th place. Portsmouth, following their nine point deduction for entering administration sit 17 points from safety with five matches left to play and 15 potential points left to win. In an interesting twist, Portsmouth could qualify for the FA Cup Final tomorrow with a win over Tottenham one day after being assured of the inevitable.

Meanwhile, West Bromwich Albion will return to the Premier League next season, after their 3-2 win over Doncaster Rovers assured at least a second place finish for the Baggies in the Championship. Arsenal won the first game of the 2008-09 Premier League season against Albion 1-0 at the Emirates. They also won 3-1 at The Hawthorns.

Burnley's 4-1 win over Hull City at the KC Stadium, coupled with West Ham's win makes it seem like now both Burnley and Hull will be the other two teams relegated to next year's Championship. Both teams sit four points adrift of safety, but Burnley have played an extra game compared to many of their relegation rivals.

As for the vital third promotion slot from the Championship, it's decided by a playoff between the 3rd through 6th place teams. Nottingham Forest's 3-0 win over Ipswich Town has assured them a place in the playoffs, thanks to Blackpool's (in 7th) 4-1 lost to recently-assured-promotion Newcastle. Blackpool are now two points adrift of the final playoff spot with three games to play.

Cardiff City, Leicester City, and Swansea City currently sit in the other three playoff positions. Five teams from 7th to 11th place could mathematically finish in the 6th and final playoff spot.

Pompey Can't Go Bust, Says Porn Magnate

David Gold, pornographer millionaire, and co-owner of West Ham United with fellow pornographer millionaire David Sullivan, does a lot of talking. And today, he's talking about the league members' responsibility to save Portsmouth F.C. from going out of business, for the sake of the Premier League's integrity.

What is relevant to Arsenal is that if Portsmouth goes out of business during this season, the league is reduced to 19 teams and all results against them are wiped out as if they never happened. Arsenal would lose six points in the table. Chelsea, having only played Pompey once, would only lose three. The new table would look something like this:

1. Chelsea - 55 points
2. Manchester United - 51 points
3. Arsenal - 46 points
4. Liverpool - 44 points
5. Tottenham Hotspur - 41 points
6. Aston Villa - 39 points
7. Manchester City - 38 points

Suddenly, Chelsea would be running away with the league again, and Arsenal's semi-comfortable third place position would be in a little more jeopardy. The biggest beneficiary would, interestingly enough, be Liverpool, because they lost to Portsmouth.