NorthEnders: The Cesc to Barça Soap Opera Timeline

Cesc Fabregas: ready to leave Arsenal behind? Pic via Sky Sports.

I don't know about you, but I'm starting to think this whole Fabregas to Barcelona saga is getting ridiculous. Barcelona appear to be standing firm at their insultingly lowball offer of £30 million; it looks as if, at the moment, the Catalan side can't afford to sign him, unless Arsenal buckles in negotiation.

So, as this situation is bound to get more preposterous and infuriating in time, this is as good an opportunity as any to review the summer saga as it has occurred so far, with this blood-boiling timeline:

May 13: Cesc Fabregas hints that he wants the situation to be taken care of before the start of the World Cup, but says that he is in no rush to leave Arsenal and is happy with the club.

May 18: Reports of an emotional meeting between Fabregas and Arsene Wenger state that the captain made it clear that he wants to move back to his boyhood club.

May 19: Barcelona states that Arsenal will have the final say over any move, since Fabregas remains under contract. In spite of this, the club remained confident that the transfer would be complete by the end of the week. On the same day, Barca completed their £34.2 million purchase of striker David Villa.

May 20: If you didn't hate Barcelona already by this point, on the 20th, they suggested that Fabregas should publicly declare his desire to leave Arsenal. The Daily Mail at this point claims that Arsenal's price tag is in the vicinity of £80 million, not 40 as widely reported.

May 21: Arsenal prepares to fight to keep Fabregas in North London, and state that they have not yet set a price on the skipper. Chairman Peter Hill-Wood is said to have told Barcelona that Fabregas is not for sale. Arsenal also completes their signing of Marouane Chamakh.

May 22: Hill-Wood remains critical of Barcelona's tactics and backs up his statements from the day prior that Fabregas is not going to be sold.

May 25: Barcelona confirms that they have not yet made an offer for Fabregas. They say there has been "first contacts," but no official offers. Cesc's father tells the Spanish media that he expects the process to be long-winded but ultimately ending with Cesc leaving Arsenal.

May 26: After a very long conversation between Cesc Fabregas and Arsene Wenger, Cesc is told that the situation lies in Arsenal's hands now.

May 31: Barcelona president Joan Laporta states that they are still working on a deal, despite facing difficult negotiations from Arsenal.

International Gunner Watch - 5/31/10

William Gallas rescued France on Sunday. Pic via Virgin Media.

Thursday: Denmark 2 - 0 Senegal

• Nicklas Bendtner did not feature for the Danes in their 2-0 win on home soil.

Saturday: Slovakia 1 - 1 Cameroon

• Alex Song played 85 minutes on the back line as Cameroon needed an 82nd minute equalizer from Eyong Enoh to draw level with Slovakia.

Saturday: Spain 3 - 2 Saudi Arabia

• Spain struggled to slip past Saudi Arabia, scoring their winner in second half injury time. Despite all of Spain's struggles in this match, Cesc Fabregas remained an unused substitute.

Sunday: Mexico 5 - 1 Gambia

• Carlos Vela played 56 minutes in Mexico's four goal victory over the smallest country on mainland Africa. Javier Hernandez and Adolfo Herrera Bautista both picked up braces.

Sunday: Paraguay 2 - 2 Ivory Coast

• Emmanuel Eboue was a halftime substitute for the African nation, in a match that was 0-0 at the half. Ivory Coast took a two goal lead before allowing Paraguay to score twice in the final 15 minutes to pull level.

Sunday: Japan 1 - 2 England

• Theo Walcott struggled, along with the rest of the English squad, in their lucky 2-1 win over Japan, which saw the Japanese score both England goals in their own net. Walcott played only the first half and did not impress. He'll still likely make the final 23-man squad, but barely.

Sunday: Tunisia 1 - 1 France

• William Gallas scored the equalizing goal in the 62nd minute as France pulled level with their former protectorate. He was subbed off after 64 minutes.
• Bacary Sagna started the match on the back line as well, took a yellow card, and played 90 minutes.
• Gael Clichy and Abou Diaby both appeared off the bench at the 64 minute mark.

Arsene Wenger is Very Disappointed in You 5/27/10

From: http://football.uk.reuters.com/leagues/uk/news/2010/05/26/LDE64P27I.php

International Gunner Watch - 5/27/10

 Yesterday's friendly for van Persie went a lot better than the last one. Pic via Guardian.

Netherlands 2 - 1 Mexico

• Robin van Persie picked up a brace in his return to international action as Holland beat Mexico 2-1 in Germany. Van Persie, playing his first game for the national team since rupturing ankle tendons in a previous international friendly in November, scored goals in the 17th and 41st minutes. Van Persie was, however, pulled in the 64th with tightness in his hamstring.
• Carlos Vela played the final 35 minutes for Mexico off the bench, two days after starting at Wembley.

France 2 - 1 Costa Rica

• France struggled on home soil to beat Costa Rica 2-1 on Wednesday, needing an own goal to equalize before Mathieu Valbuena scored an 83rd minute winner, assisted by second half substitute, Abou Diaby.
• William Gallas started the match at center back and played the first half, while Bacary Sagna played all 90 minutes at right back.

International Gunner Watch - 5/25/10

Mexico's Carlos Vela had as many shots in one half at Wembley yesterday as he had all year for Arsenal. Pic via CBC.

Yesterday: England 3 - 1 Mexico

• Theo Walcott frustrated England fans as he has frustrated Arsenal fans yesterday at Wembley as he often put himself in wonderful position with beautiful strides down the flank, only to have a poor final touch at the end. Of course, some crosses were better than others, and his work freed up a ball for Liverpool's Glen Johnson, who then had the great individual effort to score England's third and final goal.
• Carlos Vela started for Mexico and had two shots on goal in the first half (equal to the number of shots on goal he had for Arsenal this year) which were both stopped by keeper Robert Green of West Ham United. He probably should have buried the first.

Today: Georgia 0 - 0 Cameroon

• Alex Song played the first half for the Indomitable Lions as they were held scoreless by 119th ranked team in the world, Georgia, in today's friendly match in Austria.

Non-Appearances

• Eduardo has not played for Croatia's national team in a friendly this summer. Croatia beat Wales 2-0 on Sunday.
• As far as I can tell, Thomas Vermaelen has not featured for Belgium either; even though Belgium is not going to the World Cup, Vermaelen will spend his summer in Africa anyway.
• Tomas Rosicky was left behind in Europe, still nursing an ankle injury he suffered after the Manchester City match in April, for the Czech Republic's trip to the United States. The Czechs lost to Turkey 2-1 on Saturday and will play the United States tonight. 

France!

• William Gallas has been declared fit to feature for France, escaping injury in a buggy crash during a team-bonding exercise.
• Gallas, Gael Clichy, Bacary Sagna, and Abou Diaby have all been confirmed as part of France's 23-man World Cup squad.

News Roundup 5/25/10 - The Nigerian Bank Scam Edition

• Nigerian billionaire Aliko Dangote has denied the rumors that he was in line to purchase Lady Bracewell-Smith's 15.9% stake in the club. After we gave him our bank account numbers and secret PIN codes and everything! [Times, Daily Telegraph, Sky Sports]
• Eduardo's goal at Portsmouth in December and Denilson's goal against Everton in January have both now been reclassified as own goals by the opposition, making both Gunners now appear even more statistically useless on the score sheet. [Arsenal.com]
• Werder Bremen center back Per Mertesacker (whose name I first heard as "Murder Soccer" eight years ago) would be willing to move to North London, though absolutely nothing in these articles implies that this deal is even more than speculative. His quote doesn't even mention Arsenal. Bit of a stretch here? [Daily Mirror, Daily Mail]
• You know what Barca: If you think the asking price for Fabregas is a little too high, you don't even want to know what we'll charge you for Eboue. I'll give you a hint: the deed to the Camp Nou stadium would only be a small percentage of it. [Guardian, Daily Mail]
• An Arsenal midfielder that first trained in Barcelona's youth system has officially transferred back to a Spanish team. Oh, it's Merida. [Daily Mail]
• News from the Cesc Fabregas saga and World Cup news in "International Gunner Watch" are both posts on the docket for later today. Stay tuned.

Arsene Wenger Is Very Disappointed in You 5/25/10

From: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/396265-arsene-wengers-gamble-has-it-finally-failed

Arsene Wenger Is Very Disappointed in You 5/24/10

Tiny But Disappointed

From: http://www.uknetguide.co.uk/Latest-News/Arsenal-complete-signing-of-striker-Marouane-Chamakh-19794171.html

Arsene Wenger is Very Disappointed in You: 05/23/2010

From: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1279797/Cesc-Fabregas-price-war-Livid-Arsenal-hit-Barcelona-pushing-fee-80m.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Championship Play-Off Final: Blackpool vs. Cardiff

Chamakh Deal Complete

Pic via Arsenal.com.

In completely and utterly shocking news, Arsenal today have confirmed their signing of Bordeaux striker Marouane Chamakh. The 26-year-old Moroccan international has signed a long-term contract with the club.

In eight seasons with Bordeaux, Chamakh scored 79 goals in 293 appearances with the club, which advanced to the quarterfinals of the Champions League last season, before being bounced out by Lyon. Chamakh scored both Bordeaux goals in the tie.

Chamakh was born and raised in France, but by lineage plays internationally for Morocco, for whom he has scored 27 goals in his 53 caps. The side's most famous moment was advancing to the Final of the 2004 Africa Cup of Nations.

And for your information, in terms of blog posts, I've been holding off on speculative news until the damned Cesc Fabregas soap opera comes to an end.

Arsene Wenger is Very Disappointed in You 5/20/2010

Seems like both Arsene Wenger and I are too busy to be disappointed... What does that say about us?

From: http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard-sport/football/article-23835871-arsene-wenger-still-hopefull-he-can-keep-cesc-fabregas.do

A sad day for English gooners

Across the pond from Hipster Gooner Central, the epic fail of politics known as the UK general election has finally stumbled to a dull and disappointing finish. (Somewhat like Arsenal's last few matches before Sunday -- hey-o!) Though there is at least one vaguely bright spot in all of this -- Islington North returned their Labour MP to office, ensuring that the red and white will continue to be governed by the red -- in general, the mood has grown dark. Besides the serious policy stuff that is raising eyebrows and ire at Hipster Gooner HQ, including a proposed non-EU immigration cap that could prevent American Hipster Gooners from moving over to the land where football reigns supreme as well as perhaps affect some of our favorite non-European players (like Carlos Vela, our Mexican superstar), this quote, which ran on a blog housed by Tory mouthpiece the Daily Telegraph, has us feeling even more disgusted with the new government:

There are some positives worth highlighting already, apart from the sunshine. My favourite is the installation of a prime minister who has no particular interest in football. New Labour did many things to our politics but one of the worst was to elevate football and its most tiresome aspects into a quasi religion. Was anything more depressing than Alastair Campbell enrolling Sir Alex Ferguson as an occasional adviser and cheerleader? David Cameron says he is an Aston Villa fan, but has never displayed that teenager's obsession for the game that fed the tabloidisation of Labour.

Somehow, in one quote about our favorite sport, this writer has managed to encapsulate everything that is wrong with the entrenched class system in general, and Tories in particular. Football is our religion, and it's one that we're incredibly proud to share with people from all different countries and walks of life. So, with all due respect, Telegraph writer, consider this two fingers stuck up at you.

News Roundup 5/13/10 - The Defensive Edition

William Gallas is just pissing everyone off now. Pic via Guardian.

• Arsene Wenger has admitted that he needs to make moves to strengthen the squad's defense next season, saying that conceding 41 goals is way too many to win a title. You know who's at fault for a lot of those goals? Almunia and Fabianski... Hint hint, wink wink. [BBC, Guardian, Daily Mirror]
• Speaking of the defense, Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood has called out William Gallas for his "extravagant" wage demands in their contract negotiations. Basically, Arsenal is prepared to let him walk rather than buckle on their principles. [ESPN Soccernet]
• I think Sol Campbell, likely back for another spell, should beat up William Gallas for being a contract negotiation jerk. [Guardian, Times, Daily Mail]
• Here are two end-of-season reports on the team's performance. [Sky Sports, Daily Mirror]
• Tabloids report that Cesc Fabregas told some friends that he'll sign for Barcelona before the start of the World Cup. Note that there are zero direct quotes from the skipper in the Mirror article, though the Mail has him say "I'm in no hurry to leave the club." This is becoming quite a soap opera. [Daily Mirror, Daily Mail]

Live Coverage: Cardiff City (3) v. (3) Leicester City [Cardiff wins 4-3 on penalties]

Yesterday, Blackpool defeated Nottingham Forest 4-3 at City Ground to win their Championship promotion playoff semi-final tie 6-4 on aggregate, having already won 2-1 at home on Saturday. Today, plenty more non-Arsenal football to keep our minds from going numb before the World Cup as the other semi-final tie's second leg is played. Today, the Bluebirds of Cardiff City take their 1-0 advantage back to Wales with them as they play host to Leicester City.

We likely won't be going as overboard with our coverage as we did yesterday, but we'll do our best to keep you posted on the game's progress, while also touching a bit on Fulham, who are in Hamburg to take on Atletico Madrid in the UEFA Europa League Final.

Ooh, to be a bluebird (for a few hours.)

Dave Jones is Very Disappointed in You: 5/12/10

While not Wenger, that facial expression will do

From: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/leagues/championship/cardiff/3260338/Cardiff-manager-Dave-Jones-blasts-Nottingham-Forest-fans-who-abused-him-Football.html

News Roundup 5/12/10 - The Gunnersaurus Edition

Sorry, I just enjoy pictures of Gunnersaurus. Pic via Arsenal.com.

• After Blackpool secured a date at Wembley yesterday, Cardiff City will look to extend their 1-0 lead over Leicester City tonight at home in the second leg of their semifinal tie. I believe we'll be covering it again, as Hipster Bluebird this time. And not as Hipster Foxes, which upset our own Max Foxman. Sorry, Max.
• The Gunners have announced two more pre-season friendlies, in addition to the end of July Emirates Cup: one July 17 at Barnet F.C. and another on August 7 in Warsaw. [Arsenal.com]
• Arsene Wenger has been promised that the funds for transfer moves this summer are indeed available. *coughbuyagoalkeepercough* [Daily Telegraph, Guardian]
• Contract negotiations are not going well with William Gallas. This could spark a move for Lyon's Jeremy Toulalan. [Guardian]
• Then, there's talk of the Toure's coming to North London. Yaya, who shot down the rumors last summer while getting significant playing time at Barca, is now 90% sure he's leaving Camp Nou. [Guardian, Daily Mirror, Sky Sports]
• If Barcelona takes Cesc Fabregas away from us, Wenger is keen on replacing him with Everton's Mikael Arteta. [Guardian, Daily Mirror]
• Arsenal legend Tony Adams has been appointed as manager of Azerbaijan side Gabala F.C. Last year, the Radars finished 10th in the Azerbaijan Premier League. [Arsenal.com]

International Gunner Watch: Preliminary Squad Time!

Samir Nasri: Not one of four Gunners on France's preliminary squad. Pic via Enjoy France.

May 11 marks one month until the start of the World Cup, and with that, today was the deadline for international teams to submit their preliminary squads for the tournament. Each country's squad must be cut down to 23 players by June 1, but for now, the roster's sit at, at most, 30 players. Here are the Arsenal players who have been named to their respective country's provisional squads:

GROUP A:

Mexico: Carlos Vela

France: Gael Clichy, Abou Diaby, William Gallas, and Bacary Sagna

GROUP C:

England: Theo Walcott

GROUP E:
Netherlands: Robin van Persie
Denmark: Nicklas Bendtner
Cameroon: Alex Song

GROUP G:
Ivory Coast: Emmanuel Eboue
  
GROUP H:
Spain: Cesc Fabregas
Switzerland: Philippe Senderos

Stay tuned to Hipster Gooner all summer for news about every Gunners' progress (and health, fingers crossed) in international play! 

Not The Boys of Summer

Definitely not North London

It is odd how quickly the absence is felt. The matches--some watched, some read about--provide a constant ebb and flow, a framework to the week. As another season ends it is met with mixed feelings of relief and regret. That team, those players will never exist in the same way again. You hope that it will be better after a period apart, but worry that some of the magic might be lost. You wonder if love is everlasting.

The odd years are harder, lacking the respite of the even years' tournaments. These events confuse as well as console. To see Song do all he can to stop Bendtner and Van Persie, watch Gallas bundle Vela off the ball, chinks the mythic unity bestowed upon the team. The transfer rumours and gossip fuel this idea of disunification.

Not quite wanting to let go of this season just yet I have gone in search of a mistress; to squint a little and pretend it was someone else. I stumbled upon the Blackpool game that John excellently reported on, and wanted this plucky little team to win. Blackpool are not Arsenal: theirs are rough brush strokes compared to silky smooth lines. Charlie Adam, their talismanic Fabregas-a-like, is Scottish not Spanish (it shows). Yet as I hear the roar of the crowd, the shared hope, I hear the echoes of friends' cries of joy and frustration, and I cannot wait to join them again next season.

Follow our Nottingham Forest vs. Blackpool liveblog below:

Hipster Gooner Fashion Show: Final Photos

One more camera was at our Arsenal Party the other night. The final photos are courtesy of Joseph Hall!

Arsene Wenger is Very Disappointed in You 5/11/2010

He is just disappointed that the season is over.

From: http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Arsenal-chiefs-expect-manager-Arsene-Wenger-to-sign-new-contract-at-the-Emirates-article422067.html

Arsenal 4 - 0 Fulham: Bronze

Arsenal celebrates remembering how to score goals. Pic via Sky Sports.

Arsenal 4: Arshavin 21, van Persie 26, Baird 37 (og), Vela 84

Fulham 0

And a Happy St. Totteringham's Day, everyone, though it's belated by a day at this point.

After Arsenal lost 2-1 to Spurs in mid-April, the title was effectively out of reach. All Arsenal needed was a win or two, however, to at least secure third place in the league table, and with it, not just a guaranteed spot above Tottenham, but automatic qualification to next year's Champions League group stage.

Then, Arsenal blew a two goal lead at Wigan in ten minutes and lost. Then, an uninspired 0-0 draw with Manchester City where City never tried to score and Arsenal tried at most three times. Then, another lackluster effort, and a 2-1 loss at Blackburn.

Suddenly, a loss on the final day of the season coupled with a Spurs win against already relegated Burnley would've pushed our hated rivals into third place. No, things have not been very happy in Arsenal-land for the past month.

Thankfully, Arsenal's opponent at the Emirates yesterday, Fulham, have a more important game to worry about this coming Wednesday; they're in a European final against Atletico Madrid for the Europa League title. As such, Fulham clearly did not intend to put in their best effort in this London derby.

Arsenal struck first, as they have so often lately. This opener came in the 21st minute, as Chris Baird's back pass to Fulham keeper Mark Schwarzer was met with a heavy trap from Schwarzer, right into the path of Andrei Arshavin. Arshavin carried the ball to the line as Schwarzer tried to slide back into position. The diminutive Russian's fancy footwork brought the keeper out of position yet again, and Arshavin pounded the ball into the goal.

Arsenal extended the lead to 2-0 five minutes later, as Bacary Sagna found Theo Walcott breaking with a through ball, putting he and Robin van Persie in alone on goal. Walcott's pass to RVP was perfect, but the shot hit Schwarzer in the leg and hit the crossbar. But, as there was no luck for Fulham on the day, the rebound careened straight back to the Dutchman, who fired the ball into the net, all the while having four Fulham defenders scrambling back into their positions.

The Gunners extended their lead to three at halftime thanks to a little more misfortune for Fulham. Walcott's cross into the box was this time met by Emmanuel Eboue. He attempted to back heel a pass to a marked van Persie behind him, but didn't get enough of a heavy touch on it to reach him. It did, instead, reach the defender marking van Persie, Chris Baird. The ball took a strange bounce off Baird and into the net for an own goal. 3-0 Arsenal at half time.

Fulham barely pressured all game and every Lukasz Fabianski touch brought sarcastic applause from both sets of fans at the Emirates. Arsenal closed out the game and the season with one more goal in the 84th minute. Samir Nasri's through ball came to Carlos Vela who calmly flicked a chip shot over the outstretched arms of Schwarzer. It was Vela's second goal of the year, with the other coming in the Carling Cup. 4-0 to the Arsenal.

Two other appearances to note, in the form of substitutions in this match: Johan Djourou, out all season with a knee injury suffered on international duty in August, came on at the hour mark, replacing Mikael Silvestre and Henri Lansbury, having just returned from a loan spell at Watford, made his Premier League debut for the match's final twenty minutes.

Hipster Gooner Fashion Show: The Final Day of Arsenal

We at Hipster Gooner had planned a final glorious fashion shoot for the game yesterday. Then a blistering wind and general lack of planning (yours truly forgot to charge his camera) forced us inside. However, with such a fantastic win, we still celebrated a mini-fashion show with our friends at NYC Arsenal Supporters.

Arsene Wenger is Very Disappointed in You 5/10/2010

From: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1275420/Arsene-Wenger-minds-gap-World-Cup-worry.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Promotion Watch: Tangerine Dream

Blackpool edged Swansea by one point for the final playoff spot and now lead their semifinal with Forest. Pic via Guardian.

With Portsmouth, Burnley, and Hull going down along with Newcastle United and West Bromwich Albion assured of promotion, we currently know 19 of the 20 teams that will be in the Premier League next season. The Championship playoffs (between the third through sixth seeds) began today to determine the final team to earn promotion to next year's top flight.

The playoffs are being contested between four teams that have been in the top flight before, though for some, not in a very long time: Nottingham Forest, Blackpool, and Cardiff City (and Leicester!)

Forest's last year in the Premier League was 1998/99. Forest has spent five seasons in the Premier League since it's formation in 1992. They were also the very first team to finish last place in the league's first season. In those five years, Forest defeated Arsenal once, 2-1 at City Ground shortly before Christmas 1996. Of course, if you know your history, you also know that Arsenal wears red because their first set of kits were borrowed from Nottingham Forest.

Ah, but Forest currently trails in their two-leg semifinal with Blackpool, whose run of points in eight of their last nine league fixtures allowed them to pip Swansea City for the final playoff slot. In today's first leg in Blackpool, Forest struck first in the 13th minute, but the Tangerines equalized in the 26th and won the match from the penalty spot in the 56th. Blackpool leads the tie 2-1 with the final leg to be played in Nottingham on Tuesday night. Blackpool was last in the top division of English football in Arsenal's first double season - 1970/71.

The other semifinal tie begins tomorrow as fifth placed Leicester City (out of the Premier League since 2003/04, when they managed a 1-1 draw at home from Arsenal in the Gunners' unbeaten Invincibles season, as Craig Hignett equalized for Leicester in injury time) hosts fourth seed Cardiff City, looking to become the first team in Wales to play in the Premier League. Cardiff was last in the top flight in 1961/62.

The Gooner's Abridged Guide to the UK General Election

As at least two of your Hipster Gooners have been spending the past 12-plus hours glued to various televisions, computer screens, and hand-held devices due to the UK general election, we thought we'd bring you some disconnected thoughts on football and politics. The more you know! Unfortunately, though we looked everywhere for some Arsenal-related election news, the dearth of party leaders from North London meant that the best we can do is point you back to John's exhortation to "vote Eboue." Oh, and Labour do have some very snazzy red rosettes that we think could be a brilliant edition to any Gooner's match day wardrobe. Anyway, we think you'll want to be forewarned about some relevant findings.

WHO DO THE LEADERS SUPPORT?

(*cue evil laughter here*)
Remember all those times you thought Villa weren't so bad, that they were sorta endearing for a team that wasn't Arsenal? Take it back. David Cameron, Conservative "fish in a condom," supports Aston Villa. He's even got an uncle who was a former Villa chairman. Oh, and in '07 Frank Lampard admitted to being a Tory and "really liking" David Cameron. Add that to the list of reasons to hate Chelsea.

Maybe we can buy Gordon Brown this summer.
Gordon Brown (Labour) supports his local team, Raith Rovers, who are Division 2 in Scotland. Not much to say there.

Not very sporty, are you Nick?
Nick Clegg (Lib Dem) has never publicly admitted to supporting a team. He has pointed out that it's "fashionable" for politicians to admit to supporting a football team, and the closest he's gotten has been to say that in his dream political football team, Gordon Brown would be in the reserves and David Cameron wouldn't be on the team. However, his "battle bus" was previously owned by Chelsea FC. We love you Nick, but those are some bad vibes...and do you have any idea what might have happened on those suede leather seats?

In news that actually could be considered relevant to the Premiership, both Labour and the Tories have stated that they are interested in making it easier for football supporters to be more involved in owning their clubs, so there's that.

On a final note, Islington North, the constituency which contains Arsenal, has not yet declared their results; we'll be sure to give you a heads up once we hear. However, it's gone Labour since '66, so we're not very concerned that the red and white will go anything besides red.

Preview: Arsenal v. Fulham

Vito Mannone: Kicking Ass, Taking Names. Pic via Guardian.

Emirates Stadium, London

Sunday, May 9

16:00 BST, 11:00 a.m. EDT

• Referee: Mike Jones
• This Match, Last Year: Arsenal 0 - 0 Fulham
• All-Tim, in All Competitions: 32 Arsenal wins, 7 Fulham wins, 7 draws
• Arsenal's Recent Form: D-W-L-L-D-L
• Fulham's Recent Form W-D-D-L-W-L

Predicted Line-Up

Fabianski

Sagna - Campbell - Silvestre - Clichy

Eboue - Nasri - Diaby

Walcott - Van Persie - Arshavin

Subs from: Mannone, Djourou, Gibbs, Eastmond, Eduardo, Vela, Henderson

Out: Rosicky (ankle), Song (knee), Bendtner (groin), Almunia (wrist), Denilson (groin), Vermaelen (calf), Fabregas (leg), Gallas (calf), Ramsey (leg)

Arsenal News and Notes

• The depth of Arsenal's injury woes got even more bewildering on Monday when four players dropped out of the line-up with injuries. Gael Clichy is the only potential return, he missed the trip to Blackburn with an ankle problem.
• If Clichy cannot play, I expect Armand Traore will get the start. I don't think Kieran Gibbs is fit enough to start, having only made a surprise return to the bench Monday.
• Tomas Rosicky, Alex Song, and Nicklas Bendtner, all unavailable on Monday, will be unavailable for this fixture as well.
• Andrei Arshavin has fully recovered from his calf injury and is expected to start.
• Arsenal have picked up five out of a possible 18 points in their last six league fixtures.
• The last time Arsenal picked up only five points over a six match stretch in the league: October 28 - November 29, 2006, which included a win over Liverpool, draws with Everton and Newcastle, and losses to West Ham, Bolton, and Fulham.
• Across all competitions, Arsenal have one once in their last eight games, and that even took 93 minutes against Wolves. They have drawn three and lost four in the same stretch.

Fulham News and Notes

• This is Fulham's 62nd game of the season, which is an obscenely high number.
• Fulham will play Atletico Madrid in the Europa League final on Wednesday.
• As such, it would not be surprising to see the Cottagers field a weakened side for this match.
• Top class striker Bobby Zamora has an Achilles injury and is questionable not just for Sunday, but for the Europa League final as well. He's been called "touch and go" for Wednesday.
• Fresh injury concerns hit Fulham this week as well, as captain Damien Duff left this week's 1-0 loss to Stoke with a leg injury.
• Andrew Johnson has been out long term with a serious knee injury.
• Fulham's impressive European run has come at the expense of their domestic league form. They have won once in their last five fixtures, a 3-2 win at Upton Park. They've drawn against Liverpool and Wolves in that period as well.
• Fulham have not won a league fixture away from Craven Cottage since the opening day of the season, at Fratton Park against Portsmouth. They have drawn seven away fixtures. Good news for Arsenal, who essentially need just a point to secure third, provided Tottenham doesn't beat Burnley by 11 goals.

Match Facts

• Arsenal defeated Fulham in the reverse fixture, 1-0 at Craven Cottage in late September. Vito Mannone kept a clean sheet and was Man of the Match. Robin van Persie netted the only goal in the 52nd minute.
• This fixture last season was a scoreless draw.
• Fulham have never won at Arsenal in 23 tries. The Gunners have won 20 times when the Cottagers visit North London (19 league, 1 FA Cup); Fulham have managed a draw three times.
• The referee is Mike Jones. He has worked only one Arsenal match this year, a 4-0 win over Wigan in September. For Fulham, he refereed a 1-1 draw at Burnley and a 3-0 loss at Old Trafford.

Around the League
All matches are Sunday at 16:00 BST, 11:00 a.m. EDT.

• Chelsea v. Wigan Athletic; Stamford Bridge, London
• Manchester United v. Stoke City; Old Trafford, Manchester
• Burnley v. Tottenham Hotspur; Turf Moor, Burnley
• West Ham United v. Manchester City; Boleyn Ground at Upton Park, London
• Aston Villa v. Blackburn Rovers; Villa Park, Birmingham
• Hull City v. Liverpool; KC Stadium, Kingston-upon-Hull
• Everton v. Portsmouth; Goodison Park, Liverpool
• Bolton Wanderers v. Birmingham City; Reebok Stadium, Bolton
• Wolverhampton Wanderers v. Sunderland; Molineux, Wolverhampton

News Roundup 5/6/10 - The Fixture Switch Denial Edition

"Roy Hodgson Is Very Disappointed in You" is a running feature on "Hipster Cottager." But this site is better. Pic via Guardian.

• Fulham put in a formal request to the Premier League to switch Sunday's fixture with Arsenal at the Emirates to Saturday, as they play the Europa League final on Wednesday. That request was denied, as all fixtures must start simultaneously on the season's final day. Plus, they cited that fans have already made their travel arrangements! From West London to North London? Really, you used that as an excuse? [Guardian, ESPN Soccernet]
• Three year extension for the Professor? Yes, please. Just as long as you let him spend this summer. [Daily Telegraph]
• With all ten fixtures at the same time, England manager Fabio Capello will be at the Emirates on Sunday, to watch Theo Walcott, Fulham's Bobby Zamora (who might not be fit), and surprise! Sol Campbell! [Guardian, Sky Sports]
• Wenger is rumored to be preparing a £10 million move for Senegalese center back Pape Malickou Diakhate from Dynamo Kyiv, currently on loan with Saint-Étienne. It's also said that Wenger has been tracking him for two years. [Daily Mirror]
• Does that mean contract talks are stalling with William Gallas? He's been linked with AS Roma again. They also want Eboue. [Daily Mail]
• More on Gianluigi Buffon, who we touched on yesterday: Juventus will gladly swap him to us, if we give them Cesc Fabregas or Robin van Persie. Arsenal, who would be ridiculous to give up either in this scenario, seems prepared to part with only Bacary Sagna in the deal. [Daily Mirror]
• Hey, I know we have Chamakh coming in, but how about another striker, or something? £15 million deal for Sampdoria striker Giampaolo Pazzini is in the rumor mill. [Daily Mail]
• It's UK Election Day. Don't forget to Vote Eboue! [Facebook]

Arsene Wenger is Very Disappointed in You 5/6/2010

From: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/leagues/premierleague/arsenal/7682709/Arsenal-board-set-to-offer-Arsene-Wenger-new-three-year-contract-until-2014.html

News Roundup 5/5/10 - The Mistake of the Year Edition

Blackburn managed to get the ball and Fabianski into the net on their second goal Monday. Frankly, that should be two goals. Pic via Daily Telegraph.

• We've all been running this piece over and over again in our heads this season, but today's Daily Telegraph actually goes through and lists all of Arsenal's goalkeeping mistakes from this season. There are five from Manuel Almunia, two from Vito Mannone, and an astonishing six in four games from Lukasz Fabianski, and that's if you count only the "dropping it right on Bramble's head" equalizer from the loss at Wigan. [Daily Telegraph]
• Though, Sol Campbell thinks Fabianski would benefit from more regular playing time. That will, however, take several years off my own life. Thanks, Sol! [Sky Sports]
• Speaking of Campbell, there are reports of a new one-year contract in his future. [Times]
• Marouane Chamakh confirms that he snubbed Liverpool and Tottenham Hotspur to join Arsenal on a free transfer next season. The Gooner Chant Machine is in full spin now. [Guardian, Daily Mirror, ESPN Soccernet]
• Guardian reported yesterday that Arsenal is indeed interested in Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart, who has been on loan at Birmingham City this season... [Guardian]
• ...but Manchester City will not part ways with Hart while Shay Given is injured (thanks, Diaby, for your innocuous shot that might have apparently ruined our transfer dealings somehow) unless they themselves have already signed a replacement, perhaps in the form of Juventus and Italy keeper Gianluigi Buffon... [Daily Telegraph]
• ...but there are Buffon-to-Arsenal rumors swirling as well. A move to England seems plausible, based on interviews with Buffon lately, in addition to the fact that Juventus has failed to qualify for next year's Champions League. [Guardian]
• Bolton manager Owen Coyle would like Jack Wilshere back again on loan next year. [Sky Sports, Times]
• And now, what you've all been waiting for: WAGs modeling national team kits! It features Gael Clichy's wife in France's kit. [Daily Mail]
• REMEMBER: City hosts Spurs at 2:45 Eastern today, 7:45 in England. A draw seals up third place for Arsenal. A City win makes it still mathematically possible to be caught on goal difference, but highly unlikely.

Arsene Wenger Is Very Disappointed in You 5/4/10

From the Daily Mail: Arsene Wenger was disappointed Fabianski was not given greater protection by the referee. A coincidence? We think not!

From: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1271137/Blackburn-2-Arsenal-1-Flapping-hell-Fabianski-Jeepers-keepers-AGAIN-Gunners.html

Thoughts and feelings really from our own Casey Acierno, not me.

Blackburn Rovers 2 - 1 Arsenal: Effort? What's That?

 Sadly, this picture could have come from any number of games. Pic via Guardian.

Blackburn Rovers 2: Dunn 43, Samba 68
Arsenal 1: van Persie 13

Hey, Arsenal. I just wanted to remind you, as it appears that you've forgotten, that you have not yet clinched a third place finish. You are five points ahead of Spurs, while they can still pick up six.

Arsenal continues to coast to the end of another disappointing season by giving us Gooners another bitter pill to swallow, and another listless defeat on the road.

From the start, things looked strange in the line-up. With so many injuries on this team, you don't expect to see four players you thought were healthy to drop out of the squad completely. We'll have to see what Arsene Wenger has to say about the health of Gael Clichy, Alex Song (recurring knee problem?), Tomas Rosicky, and Nicklas Bendtner. As Bendtner did not start last week against City, that meant three changes in the starting XI. Armand Traore slipped in for Clichy at left back, Emmanuel Eboue and Carlos Vela started behind van Persie playing up front. Johan Djourou and Kieran Gibbs made surprising returns to the bench, but did not feature. Andrei Arshavin returned from his calf injury as well.

Arsenal had a chance to strike very early, just at the start of the third minute, when a Theo Walcott cross found Blackburn keeper Paul Robinson out of position as the ball fell to the feet of Carlos Vela, whose obviously rusted foot slotted the ball wide of the far post. Blackburn nearly responded on a free kick, but Lukasz Fabianski made a quick, diving save.

Arsenal struck first in the 13th minute, off their second corner in quick succession. Samir Nasri took the kick from the near side, fairly short through the air, but to the head of a cutting Bacary Sagna, who flicked the ball into the box, to the waiting head of Robin van Persie, slightly unmarked in the six yard box, who pounded the ball just under the bar and into the net, for his first goal in six months.

Blackburn started to mount the kind of attack you'd expect from Sam "Walrus" Allardyce, a man who claims to know how to "outwit" Arsene Wenger. Normally, he fails, but when your keeper is as shaky as Fabianski, the requisite holes to beat the Gunners are there. Long balls into the box, classic English-style football, and crowding the keeper on set pieces will beat Fabianski.

Lukasz Fabianski in this match was fantastic on stopping shots in open play and making saves on standard free kicks. He was also completely and utterly clueless on defending corner kicks, and this was Arsenal's undoing today.

On Blackburn's first two forays into the box with this style, Fabianski was bailed out of errors by referee Martin Atkinson. On two fumbles, Atkinson blew his whistle for fouls on Blackburn players that weren't exactly there. On the third Fabianski tumble, following a Blackburn corner, the whistle never came, Arsenal failed to clear, and David Dunn had a simple equalizer. 1-1 at the half.

Arsenal showed practically no fight in the second half, knowing a draw would essentially lock up third place (Spurs could only pass an Arsenal team with 73 points on goal difference, a statistic in which the Gunners had a 12 goal advantage at the start of second half play.) Blackburn kept pounding the attack and struck in the 68th minute to take the lead on another corner, as Chris Samba put a header past him, shortly after Mikael Silvestre accidentally tapped the ball wide of the goal (and thankfully not into it.)

Down 2-1, Arsenal attempted to mount a little more of a comeback, but the problem with this Arsenal team, so banged up by injuries, is that they play like a team of locksmiths, trying to carefully pick the lock and set up their pretty goals, without the proper tools. As a result, Arsenal always seems to come close to getting in the door, only to have things go frustratingly wrong at the very end. Andrei Arshavin slammed a shot right into the waiting arms of Robinson. Eduardo did nothing. Van Persie could not find time and space to make anything happen. Walcott's crosses were increasingly blocked by the defense. The equalizer never materialized for the Gunners, and it was never really close either.

So, one game left to play. Champions League play is assured, but avoiding the qualifying playoff and gaining automatic qualification to the group stage is not. Tottenham can still catch Arsenal for third. City can as well, but only on goal difference. Spurs and City play each other at Eastlands on Wednesday; a draw will seal third for the Gunners. Otherwise, it comes down to the final Sunday of the year, against Fulham at the Grove. Thankfully for Arsenal, Fulham has little to play for in the league, and a Europa League final in Germany three days later. Maybe the luck of the fixture list has finally turned Arsenal's way enough to get our beloved Gunnres safely into third place.

Arsene Wenger is Very Disappointed in You 5/3/2010

Disappointed in Conversation

From: http://www.sportbox.tv/football/news/story.php?id=309486

Arsene Wenger is Very Disappointed in You 5/2/2010

From: http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11670_6120980,00.html

A Serious Investigation Into the World of Erotic Arsenal Fiction

Like this, only imagine it with no clothes.

Among the usual bon mots and words of wisdom in April 22nd's installment of Ask Andrey!, there was one question that particularly begged further explanation:

Andrey, do you know that some football fans write erotic stories about you with other members of your club? What do you think about this?
Arshavin: They can write whatever they want. It's up to other members. The main thing is they don’t touch my body parts ;)

(We’ll give you a minute to pick your jaw off the floor.)

Now, the world of fanfiction, and specifically slash fanfiction, is one that has managed to stay just barely hidden below the more acceptable online incarnations of obsessive fans, especially movies, shows, and bands with a large fanbase of teenage girls. The name “slash fanfiction” itself comes from the identification of these pairings as divided by a slash; the genre began back in the day with Kirk/Spock pairings, and has evolved over the years to be dominated primarily by sci-fi, fantasy, and anime films and emo bands (for mind-scarring examples see: Harry/Draco, Frodo/Legolas, Pete Wentz/Gerard Way, and so on.)

But that’s not all. Like everything else, the Internet has provided a way for every kink and fetish to be addressed in its own nook or cranny. Slash has become democratized. And now, in this wonderful brave new world in which we live, there exists Arsenal slash fanfiction.

So, as a special May Day treat, we’ve brought you a selection of these always entertaining stories, found via a quick Google search on Not Just A Game. Welcome to the wonderful world of Arsenal players having sex. With each other. Fair warning: Many of these race right past NSFW and crash somewhere in the realm of NSFLife.

For some reason, there seems to be an obsession with Cesc Fabregas and Swiss polyglot Philippe Senderos, with a super crazy number of stories featuring them. “I’m Bringing Sexy Back” features some sexy dancing from Mr. Fabregasm himself:

“I push open the door and almost fell flat on my face. I really shouldn’t be surprised but for some reason I am. Wriggling around in his naked glory is none another than Cesc Fabregas, his arms above his head, his hips rocking to side to side and him singing loudly against the beat of the drum.”

Fabregas is by far the most popular Gunner in these tales, with pairings with former Fulham player Moritz Volz, Liverpool’s Fernando Torres and Daniel Agger, and an appearance in Joe Cole’s dreams. “Stalemate,” a rare fanfic that manages to pair Fabregas with van Persie while avoiding graphic sex, has an incredibly satisfying punch thrown at Ashley Cole:

“Fighting to keep his anger under control, Robin holds his tongue and takes Cesc by the arm, preparing to lead the younger man away somewhere where he can soothe the young midfielder's hurts in private, when Cole takes one last parting shot, a vicious insinuation about Cesc and himself, and now all of Robin's self-control is gone in a flash of red because he'll be damned if he lets anyone talk about Cesc that way and before he knows what he's doing, he's dropped Cesc's arm and now he's face to face with Cole and, almost involuntarily, his fist comes flying up and there's a satisfying smack as Cole's head snaps back.”

Bendtner, portrayed as Fabregas’ lover in the short-but-filthy "And Oh..." as well as the fantastically perverse "Two Times Two", also featuring a Chelsea power couple of John Terry and Frank Lampard, finds himself in a number of naughty situations with Danish teammate Agger, including one involving a football boot (don’t ask.) Bendtner manages to step outside of his Pan-like persona in “Traffic Light,” which features a lovely, sweet first kiss with Theo Walcott:

“Nicklas narrows his eyes. “What did you say?”

And Theo finally lifts his head. The signal’s so bright, so unexpected… so green, that it virtually poleaxes Nicklas completely.

Theo swallows hard. “I said yes,” he answers, with more conviction this time. “Yes. I’m going to kiss you.”

The innocent Theo also makes his rounds in the dressing room, with Aaron Ramsey portrayed as his first lover in the self-explanatory “Virgin Territory.” An even raunchier tale is told in “Red-Handed,” with Ramsey, Fabregas, and Walcott finding time for each other “in every corner of the locker room and right in the middle. Shower? Several times. Theo’s car? Ha, what you think?”

And as for poor Andrey? Despite the question that inspired it all, the only pairing that we could find was “Try Me,” which brought Arshavin together with Russian teammate Roman Pavlyuchenko. Whatever dreams he may have of his fellow Gunners will have to continue unfulfilled, until some young supporter with a laptop and a mission inducts him into the red and white love that dare not speak its name.